Friday, November 30, 2012
Well, it's been an extremely trying few months for me that has continued to slowly decline.
A year or so ago I weaned off of anti-depressants. I had been on them for 12 years and, for many reasons, I felt like it was time to try - so I did. Things were fine for awhile, but I have hit a point that I think I need to take them again.
There are no external reasons for what I'm feeling. I'm married to a loving godly man that is always there for me. I have three awesome sons, and while we have our usual bouts of turmoil, they are all loving responsible young men. School is going well and so far I'm still maintaining the best academic scores I've ever had in my life. Is it stressful? Of course, but that's life. Is everything absolutely perfect? Of course not, but there is not justification for feeling as down as I am.
I cry myself to sleep nightly. My poor husband is beside himself trying to figure out how to help me. I am sad... all. the. time. I feel so hopeless.
For anyone who is wondering if I've received prayer about this, rest assured I have visited that many times. I've prayed, been prayed for and done all I can in that arena. The reality is that the brain is a body part and like any body part it is complex and can have complications. I truly believe this is a brain chemistry thing and I need the extra help right now.
My biggest concern in going back to meds: WEIGHT GAIN.
UGH! That's the only reason I've waited so long in the first place.
So if anyone has any ideas or tips I can ask my doctor about (or even meds they know of that do not cause weight gain) I would really appreciate it.
Actually, it feels good to have finally made a decision about this.
I'm tired of being sad. It's time to live again.