Friday, November 30, 2012
My Journey Thus Far
Today I have been thinking about my journey, (as I do every day) but instead of thinking of how far I have yet to go, I am looking at just how far I have come.
I started an excel chart about a year ago, and it is so rewarding to see the steady downward progress. I can see where I started with my weight and BMI – in the morbidly obese category at almost 50% body fat. Unbelievable. And now I am just shy of 70lbs lighter and now in the lower half of only “obese” and about 20lbs away from just being overweight :) Even more unbelievable.
I had lost almost 30lbs before I ever took a measurement. So since my very first measurement on January 18th 2012, my waist alone is 12 inches smaller. I can't even imagine how large it actually was. I still have the pants in this picture, from when I think I was my all time heaviest, and they are 6 sizes larger than the jeans I wore yesterday. Yes jeans and not a stretchy pants or sweat pants :)
I had a slow summer. I think I gained a lot of knowledge though, knowledge that I can use to maintain for a lifetime. So it was not a total loss but I do get disappointed that I did not make as much progress as I had hoped. There is always a bright side though. Like maybe losing more slowly my skin will be more forgiving. I have totally changed my lifestyle of eating, so it is not like a diet to lose all this weight and then not know about nutrition and how to keep it off. I have learned what works for me and what doesn't. I have learned to pay more attention so I know sooner when I need to shake things up. One thing I am, is persistent but I need to realize when it is time to try something else even if only minor or temporary. So I did learn how to become more in tune and more observant of my own body and not be afraid to try something different.
I guess I just thought I would be there by now. And I am not even sure where “there” is. I don't really have a goal weight, but I do have an ideal range I guess. I dont really have a jean size in mind. I guess I figured I would see what I look like when I get there, but I do feel like “there” is about another 70lbs away. So I am half way “there”.
It has been an amazing journey so far. Highs and lows. Happy days and frustrating days. But I have NEVER lost sight of my goals of being healthier. I have NEVER thought that I could not do this. I have NEVER thought about giving up and quitting. NEVER. Every day is progress, every day is one step closer even though it looks like two steps back. Even those steps that appear to be backwards, I learned from that which means that I am then taking steps to get me even closer than I was before.
So when I have the days of why am I not there sooner? Why am I not there yet? -- I think of how far I have come. I think that it won't be all that much longer that my sleep apnea is a thing of the past. My blood pressure is good. My cholesterol is good. My triglycerides are good. I was borderline diabetes as well as all the usual diseases associated with obesity. I have successfully reversed all that. I have successfully reversed my early death sentence of dying too young from being too fat. I did that. I DID that! I did THAT!