Friday, November 30, 2012
I've been on sparkpeople for almost 2 years and I've lost over 25 lbs using the amazing tools provided on this site. However, life happened and I began to slip back into my old habits of over drinking and over eating. I have gained back over 10 lbs of what I've lost and hate the fact that I feel doughy once again. Since I refuse to buy bigger pants, I thought I'd better try something different. So I decided to start Sparkpeople over with a new handle and a new 'Spark.'
My life went from being unbelievably stressful to crashingly frustrating over the past 4 months. I was in Little Rock, AR for the summer for an internship. When I returned to Iowa, I got engaged, moved in with my fiance, and completed my thesis and defense - ALL in the month of August and September. Once that was complete, I began searching for jobs...and searching...and searching (this is where the frustration began). My fiance is finishing his degree and has about a year left, so I've been looking for a position in the Des Moines area. But my Master's degree is in Toxicology and so that limits the opportunities available in my area. Currently, I've been applying to any lab tech job I can find. I've become so desperate, I've even applied to several part time positions - ie grocery store clerk and JCPenney. I've only had one interview and it was for tutoring. The good thing is the tutoring place wanted me, but I decided to hold off to see if I can get a job in a field that would reflect my career goals.
I'm also running out of money and I've become a leech sucking the life out of my fiance. He told me not to worry and that we are financially set, but I hate not feeling independent. I also hate feeling like a mooch. There have been several things I've held off buying because I'm waiting until I have an income - a new phone, new running shoes, groceries! Seriously... Student loan bills are starting to come in now too - adding more stress to my quickly dwindling checking account.
I hate worrying about money and I hate not having a purpose during the week. And I hate feeling like a failure - which is how I feel because I can't seem to find a freaking job.
But I refuse to let that drag me down! I just keep this picture in my mind:
and just keep plugging away, because you never know how close you are to success if you give up!