Friday, November 30, 2012
Morning everyone. I blew blogging last night. Sorry. Iíve pretty much blown November.
I started out so good. I was ahead on everything, even my maintenance. Then the family hit and things started to unravel. Now donít get me wrong Ė I LOVE my family. But after me the next smallest one is my sister who is 5í3Ē and in the 180ís (maybe 190 by now). My dad and uncle consider her ďsmallĒ Ė getting the picture. Rich food and lots of drink are facts of life. Borsch and lamb/goat cheeses and glug (a home brew that I donít even want to THINK about the calorie count in) and pies and cakes and cookies and . . . you get the picture. This is everyday eating in my family.
Needless to say, getting back to a semblance of a decent calorie count has been a chore. What makes it harder is I donít cook, so I never have these foods that I grew up with except when family makes them. It was so hard not to eat until bursting, drink until dizzy, and just not care. Then of course dad keeps cooking like this through Christmas and keeps sending it over because Iím getting ďmalnourishedĒ. Iím tiny and going to freeze to death. Yo dad, we donít live in St. Petersburg anymore! And there is this nifty little think called ďheatĒ.
I finally called myself out on my steps and mileage today. Guess what I wonít achieve ONE goal I set for myself. My step count is low by more the 21,000 which means mileage is off by more than 10 miles Ė I canít do that today. We will NOT discuss fitness minutes. It is depressing.
And before anyone says ďwell you are down a pound yesterdayĒ, Iím actually still up 2 from last weekís debacle. We wonít go into the boy child getting suspended from school. Or the guilt trips that are being laid on me by so-called friends because I have put my family and business first. Just feels like everything Iíve works so hard for is coming apart at the seams. I am well aware that is just a feeling and I have the ability to turn it around. It is hard to WANT to.
I want to just throw November away and start December. I have my Santa Hustle that I have been looking forward to for a month. I need a good race tomorrow. Iím going to say anything under 40 minutes is good. Iíve got a raging head cold and the shoes that helped my shins the other day have given my horrible foot pain. Iím debating what to run in. But I am running. I have to have something to get December started and feel successful about.
I have to do what I would tell anyone else. Just make tomorrow day one. Get back to basics and baby steps. Iíve come this far, I know I can do this. Just have to tackle one thing at a time.
Sorry, Iím not much motivation today. Hopefully will be on a runnerís high tomorrow.