Giving up the crutch
Friday, November 30, 2012
After having been on maintenance for almost two years, I finally started giving away old clothes. To make things easier on myself, I decided that my extra large and large sized clothing must go.
Then I thought about the medium size, that can go, too, but I am not ready to part with that size...
Many memories came to me while organizing my clothing donations.
Memories of good times, but also memories of feeling ashamed of myself because of how much weight I had gained. That feeling of embarrassment was worse than the weight itself, and it kept me from doing things that I wanted to do with my loved ones. In my donation boxes were clothes that I wore all the time because they were stretchy and could accommodate any size expansion, I thought, until they, too, were too tight on me. Also, I found several very pretty garments that still had their tags on. They were tight when I bought them, but I hoped to lose the weight, only the weight increased and I could not wear them on the way up. Then, on the way down I could not wear them because they were for the wrong season and they never got worn.
I kept those garments for a long time without realizing that they were a crutch. If, God forbid, the worst happened, I was still covered, I could still have my trusted larger sized clothes. Also, they were part of my memories, but those do stay with me, along with a few very special garments that I will not part with.
Without realizing it, my larger clothes were my crutch, a crutch that I hope I will not need again. I am working very hard on my maintenance journey and the time to part with some of the old clothing came. After the fact, it does feel better to get rid of the crutch.
I hope other people will be able to benefit from my donation.
Now I have to work on the medium size crutch, which is not such a bad one to have, but a crutch it is...
Nothing feels better than being at peace with yourself, and feeling proud of how far along you have come. A little bit of great shopping does not hurt, either.
I am most grateful to Sparkpeople for showing me the way and for giving me hope when I had none. It takes determination and continued work, and with those it can be done.
Maintaining a healthy weight is another challenge, but with continued vigilance and with the weight management tools that we learned, it can be done.
Do you also have a crutch? What have you learned from it? Have you been able to get rid of it?
Onwards with our healthy journeys.
Keep on Sparking!