Friday, November 30, 2012
1. Stayed within calorie range 3 days in a row
2. Exercised at home to 30 day shred last night
3. found strong motivation
I don't know if this is good or not, but I found some strong motivation from my sister. It's not so nice, but when I think about how big she is, I am motivated to eat right and exercise. Because I don't want to end up like that myself. There but for the grace of God go I. We were brought up with genes, lifestyle, emotional eating, attitudes, and cooking of our morbidly obese mother. I just have educated myself out of it, and have changed my whole gestalt. I just have to keep putting my knowledge into action, because the genes and old programing is still there underneath.
I'm going to work on being a happier person. I think I was holding out for when I get to goal weight, get back to NJ, or win the lottery. I want to be happy now. Just the way things are today, imperfections and all.
And I think maybe divorcing my ex was a mistake. I thought it would make my life better, but it didn't. I think we have a lot of issues, but we also have history & chemistry. I want to be loved and cherished. Just taking it slow.