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    DATMAMA4   29,534
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The Anticipation is Always Worse...

Friday, November 30, 2012

So I finally got myself on the scale this morning after a little more than a month of not doing my weekly weigh-in.

Around mid-October, I started falling off the SparkWagon here and there, eating poorly -- either too much junk or simply too much food, even when it was healthy. I allow myself regular treats, but Halloween candy season was ridiculous...it was as if I couldn't stop myself until it was completely gone from the house. Even while feeling ashamed at my lack of self-control, I just kept grabbing more every time I passed the candy. I kept logging in my food throughout this time (awful to watch those numbers!) and exercising when the weather permitted, but was not happy with the whole calories in/calories out balance. Rightfully so.

Deep down, I *know* I'm making changes, little by little. I actually LIKE to exercise now! And I know -- most of the time, anyway -- that there will be ample opportunities for me to indulge, so there is no excuse for the behavior. I'm not trapped on a desert island with only one opportunity to eat junk before it rots. It's always there, and it will always be there.

I was just really puzzled as to why I couldn't get back to the "Woo hoo! I'm motivated to change!" mentality. I've done this so many times: get psyched, eat right, lose weight/get healthy, get complacent, allow bad habits, gain weight, get miserable.

Well, guess what? I don't want to progress past that third step anymore. The first three are good enough for me. And the secret to getting myself back on track was so simple that even I didn't see it at first. Here it comes, get ready:

START. TODAY.

If you slip up, START AGAIN. TODAY.

I feel I need to add a very large and loud "DUH" right here for accuracy's sake. Seriously. I don't know why I keep forgetting this basic truth. A slip-up is not complete failure. Neither are two slip-ups, or three, or more. Failure is when I stop trying.

A huge thank you needs to be said to one of my favorite Sparkers, KBRADFORD88, who simply said, "Try blogging again and let us know what's happening." Her encouraging words, along with uplifting words from other Spark friends I've come to hold dear, reminded me that others are paying attention and helping me along this journey.

I'm not sure why this surprised me, since I pay attention to the ups and downs of those I call friends here on Spark People. I try to encourage whenever possible, laugh at life's idiocies, and cheer when successes are shared. How wonderful to know these same things are being reciprocated when I'm the one in need.

So what happened this morning? The scale showed that in the past six weeks, I've gained a whopping 9/10 of a pound. Can you believe that?? Here I was, so scared to step on that stupid thing and have the little numbers go up, up, and up. (I hate that wii balance board, by the way...how I can have such strong feelings for an inanimate object, I have no idea, but there you go. It has a snotty attitude.)

All that fear and trembling for nothing. I'm not doing so bad after all. I *am* back on track, thanks to my Spark friends, and I plan on staying that way. I'm not going to use the tiny weight gain as a reason to stay complacent because it "wasn't that bad" -- I'm going to use it as an encouragement that I'm doing more things right than I've given myself credit for.

Just one more reason to keep Sparking.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

C8TSON 12/4/2012 5:33PM

    So glad to read this from you! You were on my mind today as I was finally able to find time to spark again this week. Setbacks are so very depressing sometimes, but it's like you said...small changes. I assessed this whole idea just the other day. I asked myself if I would have ever set foot on this journey if I had known that nearly a year later, I would still be fighting the battle. The answer I found was YES!!! Even if you make one small change a month, even if it's something as small as cutting out one soda a week....you are making those little changes that add up to something so major!

I think if we look at how far we have come, rather than stare ahead at the mountain in front of us, we are able to see the beauty of the change. I remember thinking of this very comparison when I was climbing my first mountain. When you come up to the mountain, you think, "no way can I do this." But, as you keep climbing, there's this strange feeling (I think it's a matter of depth perception maybe) that you are just about to reach the top. When you get to that point, you find yourself staring at another climb that looks like it might lead you to the top. This kept me focused throughout the hike--a thirst to go to that next spot in hopes that it might be the top....and then, voila! I was at the top! But what really amazed me more than that was looking back behind me--oh what a beautiful scene! I will never in my life forget the feeling of looking down at the trail behind me and seeing what I had done! I think this is applicable in your life at this point--look at the trail of achievements you have behind you that are now a part of your life, and keep climbing to those little peaks of victory until you reach the top!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMA2EEEE 12/4/2012 9:43AM

  It's about time (not that you got back on track, but that you wrote another blog)!!! Thanks for another good one. Very inspiring.

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MISSG180 12/1/2012 2:00PM

    Hang in there; I think a lot of it has to do with the time of year. I've been having problems with the eating myself, but I'm still working out a lot.

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BILL60 12/1/2012 7:36AM

    Way to go!!

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KBRADFORD88 11/30/2012 10:46PM

    I am so happy to see that what I said to you was encouraging. We are really in this together. When we spill our guts it releases the power the scale and whatever else we are letting rule us has. Good for you! I am so proud of you. You can do this. emoticon

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1GODGIRL 11/30/2012 11:21AM

    emoticon Good for you! I am so happy for you.

Debbie

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