Friday, November 30, 2012
So I finally got myself on the scale this morning after a little more than a month of not doing my weekly weigh-in.
Around mid-October, I started falling off the SparkWagon here and there, eating poorly -- either too much junk or simply too much food, even when it was healthy. I allow myself regular treats, but Halloween candy season was ridiculous...it was as if I couldn't stop myself until it was completely gone from the house. Even while feeling ashamed at my lack of self-control, I just kept grabbing more every time I passed the candy. I kept logging in my food throughout this time (awful to watch those numbers!) and exercising when the weather permitted, but was not happy with the whole calories in/calories out balance. Rightfully so.
Deep down, I *know* I'm making changes, little by little. I actually LIKE to exercise now! And I know -- most of the time, anyway -- that there will be ample opportunities for me to indulge, so there is no excuse for the behavior. I'm not trapped on a desert island with only one opportunity to eat junk before it rots. It's always there, and it will always be there.
I was just really puzzled as to why I couldn't get back to the "Woo hoo! I'm motivated to change!" mentality. I've done this so many times: get psyched, eat right, lose weight/get healthy, get complacent, allow bad habits, gain weight, get miserable.
Well, guess what? I don't want to progress past that third step anymore. The first three are good enough for me. And the secret to getting myself back on track was so simple that even I didn't see it at first. Here it comes, get ready:
If you slip up, START AGAIN. TODAY.
I feel I need to add a very large and loud "DUH" right here for accuracy's sake. Seriously. I don't know why I keep forgetting this basic truth. A slip-up is not complete failure. Neither are two slip-ups, or three, or more. Failure is when I stop trying.
A huge thank you needs to be said to one of my favorite Sparkers, KBRADFORD88, who simply said, "Try blogging again and let us know what's happening." Her encouraging words, along with uplifting words from other Spark friends I've come to hold dear, reminded me that others are paying attention and helping me along this journey.
I'm not sure why this surprised me, since I pay attention to the ups and downs of those I call friends here on Spark People. I try to encourage whenever possible, laugh at life's idiocies, and cheer when successes are shared. How wonderful to know these same things are being reciprocated when I'm the one in need.
So what happened this morning? The scale showed that in the past six weeks, I've gained a whopping 9/10 of a pound. Can you believe that?? Here I was, so scared to step on that stupid thing and have the little numbers go up, up, and up. (I hate that wii balance board, by the way...how I can have such strong feelings for an inanimate object, I have no idea, but there you go. It has a snotty attitude.)
All that fear and trembling for nothing. I'm not doing so bad after all. I *am* back on track, thanks to my Spark friends, and I plan on staying that way. I'm not going to use the tiny weight gain as a reason to stay complacent because it "wasn't that bad" -- I'm going to use it as an encouragement that I'm doing more things right than I've given myself credit for.
Just one more reason to keep Sparking.