Friday, November 30, 2012
So, what happened? It all started on Tuesday when I was planning out a story time program for Wednesday about cookies. I had a couple of cute books on the theme and I decided to make a cookie match game the kids could do and then I thought it would be fun to bake cookies in our toaster oven using prepared cookie dough from the store. So far so good. I went to the store on the way home from work and bought the dough and I decided to leave it in the car so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it. All was well until I started to print out pictures of cookies and started to get an overwhelming desire for that cookie dough and before I knew it that cookie dough was soon in the house and then in my mouth. I felt so defeated at that point by my food addiction I couldn't even log in to SP to talk about what I'd done. The next day I couldn't bring myself to step on the scale or check my blood sugar for fear and shame at what I'd done. As the day went on I started to feel better and told my coworkers what I'd done and that helped too and one of them suggested that in the future if i want to have a treat for the kids i wait to buy it just before i come to work and that way there will be less opportunity for a binge. A good plan.
Today I put on my big girl panties and got back on the scale and I'd actually lost a small amount and now have two pounds to go to get back to my pre-holiday weight. I wish I could figure out how to allow myself small amounts of trigger foods but moderation doesn't seem to be in my nature.