Thursday, November 29, 2012
My sisters medical situation is not very good. The medical people have said, that she has cancer in both kidneys, her liver, bones of her chest, lungs and lymph system. We have not had the official official pronouncement; however that has to do with medical protocols and perhaps kindness on the part of the staff. You know when the doctor on call say something like, “This is what I am seeing, but then I am not an oncologist so you might want to wait and get talk with the oncologist.”
This is a nice way of saying, “Man, this is very very bad.” And then extending a vain hope while to give people a time to adjust until the oncologists say, “Man, this is very very bad.”
I have begun getting the legal stuff in order, and continue to offer support to her and to her daughters.
One of the complication we have is that Debi’s youngest had a car accident when she was 16 which resulted in serious trauma, and came away alive and able to life, but with some challenges. She is a bit clinging to the idea that if we just give her mom ensure and get her out of the hospital everything will be okay.
Part of my task is to help the two each find their own way to deal with their moms up coming death, and to accept each other’s way of dealing with it. Some of this is reminding the older one, that her baby sister is doing her best and just trying to love and support her mom, and to get through things.
I was taking with her oldest late last night, and somewhere in the conversation I was reminded of a story told to me by one of my trainers.
When Jeff got married he had Milton Erickson toast the new couple. Milton for those who do not know was a hypnotherapiest, trainer and a mentor to Jeff. Milton was also a trainer to some of my other trainers and had a large impact on me through his teaching and books. Milton overcame and survived two bouts of polio. By the time Jeff met him he was old and fairly cripple and wheel chair bound.
Milton often taught through metaphor, and interaction, and quite often helped people discover new ways of being buy deeds more than words.
Jeff when into Milton’s home office to say good bye before he left on his honeymoon. I was surprised to find Milton sitting with a large rock (about the size of a football) in his lap. Milton appeared to be meditating on the rock with a fixed stare. Jeff cleared his throat and Milton looked up and smiled and said some things about Jeff and his bride starting out on a new life together. His tone and demeanor suggested that Milton was about to give Jeff some fatherly advice. Jeff listened carefully and gave Milton his full attention. He believed that the foxy old devil was about to impart one of his great secrets for living as a couple and as a family, something that Jeff could use in his new life with his new bride.
Quite suddenly Milton threw the large rock at Jeff with violent force. It struck Jeff in the chest before he had time to get his arms up and block it. Jeff was very surprise by the quickness and violence of the toss, especially because of Milton’s physical limitations. The rock bounce harmlessly to the ground, it was actually a foam rubber rock.
Miltion smile and said, “It is important not to take things for granite.”
Jeff said that silly little pun, often came to him when he faced what he through were insurmountable problem.
Good running and be careful out there
PS. Oh, and don’t take things for granite.