Thursday, November 29, 2012
It happened. I've become that person. The one I always thought was off their rocker. I ran for 20 straight minutes this morning. TWENTY! And what makes it even more of a "off-their-rocker" moment...it was at 6 in the morning.
It's funny to look back on the change that has occurred in my life in the last 3 and a half months. Back in August waking up before 6 was not possible. Things were so different. I'd toss and turned in bed and (I haven't ever really admitted this) it was hard to turn over in bed. I always had to pick up and flip and I hated it because it just felt terrible. Now 43 pounds lighter I still have times when I toss and turn but it is totally different. I don't feel like it takes so much effort.
In August going shopping for clothes was down right depressing. So many times I would leave a store empty handed because nothing fit and all I wanted to do was cry. Now I can walk into a store pick up my size and it fits! While this isn't good for my wallet it is such an awesome feeling. Shopping isn't the enemy anymore.
In August even looking at a scale made me feel terrible about myself. Now I look at it and think "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME." Yes, my life often references the Labyrinth. But really, I am no longer afraid of it. Now it shows how much hard work and dedication I've put in.
In August when people would talk about weight, fitness, and food I always felt like they were silently judging me because of how heavy I was. Now when those subjects come up I don't really care about their opinion. I know that everyone has a different journey and that journey should never be dictated by others. It is yours and yours only.
Often times it is the things we think others perceive about us and the things we think about ourselves that get us down. I've always known I was harder on myself than anyone could possible be on me. I've learned in the last 3 and a half months that so much of this is mental and once I learned to really love myself and push myself beyond my comfort zone I regained the power. I am woman hear me ROAR!