Wednesday, November 28, 2012
I came to a realization today. That realization is that it feels really *awesome* to do healthy good things for myself. This came to me while I was looking at myself in the mirror after a particularly intense Zumba class this morning. I was washing my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was tomato red. I was sweaty and a little warm. I FELT FANTASTIC. Before, when I would look in the mirror and see my face red and feeling a little warm and a little sweaty it was because I had just downed a couple of double shots of tequila. Usually the good stuff of course. Well, you know, it is much more satisfying when your face is red from good old exercise and not booze. It has not been over 3 months and I have not had a sip of the stuff. Can I say I don't miss it? No, I can't 100 percent say that. Not now, maybe not ever. Will I say that I will NEVER drink again. I can't say that either. I am taking one day at a time. I can say that I know I was drinking too much because of my depression. I can say it was causing problems with my health and relationships. I can say that I feel a lot better without it. I have gone through social situations, my birthday, my friend's birthday and Thanksgiving without imbibing. I really think I can get through the Holidays without it. In fact I seem to be enjoying things a lot more without it. I focus more on the actual experience of the fun and not when the next drink will come from.
At the store I found a real *SCORE*. Mind you I have not tasted it yet, but it sounds delish. It is BIGALOW Eggnog TEA. mmm, yum!! I can't wait to maybe light a fire, make the tea and relax by the Christmas tree. It sounds so pleasant and so GOOD for ME.
Thank you LORD for giving me back ME again and reminding me I am good.