Wednesday, November 28, 2012
I have been very uninvolved with SparkPeople since the last time I blogged which was apparently Sept 30, so about a good 2 months. Alas, in that same period of time, I also quit doing everything that is good for me. I quit walking my dog, quit going to the YMCA, quit trying to eat healthy, quit sleeping regularly, started drinking pop again, and who knows what else. What happened as a result? I got more depressed, more grumpy, and of course gained weight. Any sort of weight loss I had from healthy habits before, I completely reversed and I am now fairly certain that I weigh more than I ever have before.
I've spent this last month at my mother's house, which was good and needed, but feel like that now I am returning to "real" life, and need to start focusing on school and start working again, that my health and fitness needs to become a priority again. I haven't a clue about why when I can see benefits, I can see the pounds going away, I can see my skin looking beautiful, my mood improving, my lack of stomach aches, and all the other benefits, and then I just completely sabotage myself because I feel sad. When I never regret forcing myself to work out, in fact I feel better afterwards.
In the end, my long term goals would to be vegan, drink mostly water, maybe juice occasionally, exercise 5 days a week, walk my dog daily, journal/meditate/quiet time daily, take my vitamins daily, and really just learn to be happy and not let my mood dictate my reality and actions. These goals I have been failing horribly at, even less ambitious ones.
So a much less ambitious goal, but a start is better than none at all is starting Thursday, become a vegetarian. That should be easier than full fledged vegan. Write in my journal daily, even if it is only one sentence. Take my vitamins when I wake up. Walk the dog 3 times a week and go to the gym at least two times. That is all. Not hard right?
I am tired of starting again and again and again, but I suppose it is better than just giving up. Maybe one day I will just not stop and won't have to restart.