Tuesday, November 27, 2012
So, today marks 14 days until my RNY and all day I have been bugging out about wether or not I am making the right choice. I am scared of all the changes that I am going to have to make and how all these changes will affect my family and my relationship. While my husband says that he supports me, he has made it abundantly clear that he does not agree with my choice to have this surgery. I am scared to be smaller. I am scared that I will become someone else. I know logically that this is a natural response to my fears, but it doesnt feel good. I am also nervous about the excess skin issue. I have lost 50 pounds on my own and so far have no loose skin, but I am aiming to lose 145-150 pounds and I know that I will have excess skin. I am worried about wether or not my husband will be attracted to me or be replulsed because of all the loose floppy skin. I don't have any friends because everytime I allow myself to become close to someone they always take advantage of my kindness and screw me over. Most other people take one look at me at my weight and they seem like they don't even want to get to know me. Has anyone else expirienced this irrational fear right before surgery?