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    ANNALOBDELL   9,875
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Second guessing

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

So, today marks 14 days until my RNY and all day I have been bugging out about wether or not I am making the right choice. I am scared of all the changes that I am going to have to make and how all these changes will affect my family and my relationship. While my husband says that he supports me, he has made it abundantly clear that he does not agree with my choice to have this surgery. I am scared to be smaller. I am scared that I will become someone else. I know logically that this is a natural response to my fears, but it doesnt feel good. I am also nervous about the excess skin issue. I have lost 50 pounds on my own and so far have no loose skin, but I am aiming to lose 145-150 pounds and I know that I will have excess skin. I am worried about wether or not my husband will be attracted to me or be replulsed because of all the loose floppy skin. I don't have any friends because everytime I allow myself to become close to someone they always take advantage of my kindness and screw me over. Most other people take one look at me at my weight and they seem like they don't even want to get to know me. Has anyone else expirienced this irrational fear right before surgery?
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CHANGE4GOODNOW 11/30/2012 5:11AM

    My surgery is fast approaching (December 11th) and I've been second guessing myself as well. My husband has been very supportive as well as people I work with but I'm on the liquid pre-op diet and really wondering if I'm making a mistake. However, the more rational side of me says "Yes" to health, "yes" to a tool which will help me lose this excess weight and "yes" to being able to be more active and start enjoying those things which I gave up on because I was just too heavy. So I totally have been feeling what you're feeling and it sounds like those courageous women who have already been on this journey felt the same way. YAY!! We're normal human beings with normal feelings. Positive thoughts going out to you for your upcoming surgery. emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/30/2012 5:12:05 AM

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CORTNEY-LEE 11/29/2012 11:54PM

    I was VERY irrational before surgery. I struggled with the "am I making the right choice" question as well. It is perfectly natural to second guess it. It is a HUGE decision! I can tell you though from experience, that I am a different person.I am a different person in a good way!!

I am a healthy person. I am a happy person (well, I was a happy obese person too)

My boyfriend who wasn't really on board in the beginning is now on board 110%. He has seen all of the positive changes this surgery has brought, and he is happy for me, and proud of me.

Don't worry about the eating thing... seriously. It is really overwhelming at first, but after a few months it becomes second nature to you. To me (at 8 months out) it seem like this is the way I have always ate. It feels natural to me. You will get there too!!

I was afraid to be smaller too. In fact, I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around being a smaller person. Buying normal people clothes is mind blowing!

Loose skin... yeah, it is going to be there. I don't plan on having mine removed unless it bothers me or there is a medical reason. It is just part of who I am.

I think you are going to be fine. I wish you the best of luck!!

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HEATER1369 11/29/2012 11:52AM

    I went through this process too and I had my surgery in July 2012. I was lucky and my hubby supported me and still does 100%. Your hubby will come around. He loves you and is worried too. Give him a little time and as you lose the weight he will enjoy the slimmer, sexier you. I have not had any excess skin but I have only lost 63 lbs but I try to keep my skin hydrated but your genetics are the factor on whether or not there will be excess and how much. I still want to lose atleast another 140 lbs before I maintain my weight. All the worries and the what ifs are normal. Everything will work out the way it is suppose to go. You will do great!!!!
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PATTYR81 11/28/2012 11:23AM

    Yes! The surgery is a MAJOR step in your life so it is natural to be apprehensive about the unknown (what life will be like after).

I'm ~8 wks post WLS and still have bouts of irrational fear that comes up after losing weight. I see numbers on the scale that for decades whizzed by and my mind starts whirling. I can say I've had 99% of your same fears.

The good thing I can report is that so far my fears have not happened! My family and I have figured out how to live with everyone's needs (still working on this as it's a life-process).

I think it is great that you can get your fears out in writing and out of your head. Blogging about them also gives people a chance to give you their perspective and support.

Pray. Think Positive. Keep Blogging. Everything will turn out OK.

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Patty

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KATIEG999 11/27/2012 9:25PM

    I have not, but am sending you warm wishes for wisdom on the subject. emoticon

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