Tuesday, November 27, 2012
This Thanksgiving I got engaged- I'm thrilled and scared.
Not the standard, "do I really want this person in my life forever" scared, but the "how am I going to look in the wedding video and pictures" scared.
But my life long experiences have always been this:
Whether its one week or 15 years after taking pictures at a happy occasion, I look at the pictures and I'm depressed. I think I look one way, and then I see the photos and I'm saddened by what I see. Worse yet, if I'm looking at pictures or watching the video of an event with others, I'm embarrassed. I spend more time trying to anticipate when I might be on film to distract from the tv or I cringe every second I'm the monitor.
My unhealthy weight is unavoidable.
Even if I'm happy in the picture, clearly I'm not healthy and not someone who is a good role model for my nieces.
I am scared cause I am a secret stress eater. Seems the more vigilant I am about what I eat, the more I want to eat.
As the stress of planning a wedding (our goal is to get married Memorial Weekend 2013- no I'm not pregnant just excited to get married) starts to add up, so too is my negative self talk and cravings for "something sweet"
I need to get this in check and FAST!
Anyone have any suggestions???