Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I'm trying to ramp up the motivation so I read through the last 9 pages of blogs I've done -which is the whole point to why i bother to blog. I can't believe that anyone would actually want to read this droll but if you do- you're my favorite. But really I do it so I can see where I've come from. 9 pages ago took me back to Jan 2011 and man... that was an eye opener. I was just in the pits then. 2 babies. SEVERE PPD. Lots of stress. 205lbs. I'd sort of forgotten what life was like for me at that point but reading the words - it all became very real again. No wonder my progress has been so slow. I've had so many challenges and obstacles along the way. PPD, two very very small kids, sleep deprivation, living far away from civilization, financial problems, unreliable work situations, breast feeding... I have to cut myself some slack really. I get so frustrated with how slowly I've lost but as my situation has improved, my kids have gotten bigger, I've been able to invest more time and attention in this healthy lifestyle and it has paid off. I've dealt with things as best as I could.
I'm in a much much better place now. And I've lost about 10lbs since the beginning of the school year which is pretty amazing. Last year I really struggled to stay on track while working full time. Of course it helps that I'm not at an elementary school this year where every week theres a party for one reason or another and kids are always poking cupcakes in your face. And also part of the reason I'm more well rested is that I dont have to start as early and my schedule is a lot less mentally exhausting than it was last year. (I'm a sign language interpreter which is really taxing mentally but theres much more independent work in the middle school setting so i dont have to do as much). But even still, 10lbs since the beginning of august while working full time with a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old is not too shabby. I wanted to be further along but... I'm gonna get there. I need to relax a little bit. A lot of the things that frustrated me in the beginning still frustrate me. And I still dont know the answer to a lot of the questions i had then. But I still managed to lose almost 50lbs. So I need to just trust the process, have patience and stay with it. I could have easily have gone the other direction over the last 2 years and gained 50lbs instead of lost - but I didn't.
Some of the milestones I've hit:
6-21-11 Under 200lbs. The first time the scale (consistently) moved down instead of up in a long long long time.
2-17-11 189lbs. The lowest I'd been since before I was married (10 years this year)
3-5-12 186 wedding ring fit again for first time in about 4 years (Now I can wear wedding and engagement ring and they're both almost sliding off) Also weighed the same as my drivers license said i weighed which felt really good!
7-23-12 179 Lowest weight since college
11-1-12 168 - current weight. Can wear mostly all of my clothes that I'd been saving for when I lost weight. In fact, some is too big.
These things have all been awesome celebrations. So here's the things I'm working towards.
-165lbs Will be 50lbs lost and my half way mark. Hoping I'll hit it in a week or two
-150lbs Will be officially out of the obese bmi range and will weigh less than my husband. Hoping to hit this by Feb 2nd - my 30th Birthday
130 Will be 15lbs from my ultimate goal. Hoping to hit this in time for my 10 year wedding anniversary so we can have super awesome photos taken since I HATE my wedding photos. Because I was fat 10 years ago
115 - my ultimate goal weight, smack dab in the middle of a healthy bmi for someone who is 5'0. Hitting this sometime over summer would be amazing!!
I'd also really like to run a 5k and even a half math further down the track.
I've made it this far. I KNOW all this is completely doable.