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You Won't Like This Post

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

(I'll warn you up front that you might not like this post. Feel free to walk away right now. I won't be offended, honest.)

The scale goes up.
The scale goes down.
But it mostly goes down.

And it will do that if you are trusting in the right process and are committed to making the change in your life.

Perhaps you are having difficulty losing weight. That is not an uncommon situation. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Do you have a reasonable and thoughtful net calorie target to hit?

If you are using something like to arrive at this value, I think the answer is going to be yes. The calculator here is good. Now I've posted an exhaustive post on how I arrive at my net calorie target value so I won't rehash that here. I'm not always successful hitting that but I try to get close. Sometimes I'm a little below that target for the day. If it is around 100 calories short at the end of the day, I don't sweat that.

If you don't have that net calorie target, you're going to have difficultly losing weight. How do you know how much to eat? You can't go off of feel, I believe, because if you're like me, you've been overeating for years, maybe decades. It takes less than 5 minutes of your life to figure out that number. Take the time.

2. Are you being honest and exact in your food tracking?

So you have a net calorie target. Great. Are you being honest with yourself in what you are eating? Are you being careful to get as close an estimate on your food intake as possible? Notice there's an implied "You are tracking your food." here - you can't analyze what you don't measure. We are terrible estimators. Studies show that we are horribly bad at guessing how many calories or how much fat or carbs or sodium is in a given plate of food. Take the time to measure things out. It doesn't even take 5 minutes. Soon enough you'll be really good at measuring things.

And more importantly, are you being honest? Maybe you had 6 cookies today and are embarrassed by this. You need to track it anyway. You are not alone here. Changing habits is hard. Want to feel like you are not alone? I've blown it before and done boneheaded things like stop on the way home from work and get a big soft pretzel and two - not one, but two - bags of licorice and eaten it all on the way home. Not proud of that but it is reality. Track that food. You'll never learn from the mistakes you make and try to sweep under the rug.

3. Are you trusting the process to work?

It's easy to get frustrated because of unrealistic expectations. It's easy to get frustrated when you feel like you are not progressing at the rate you think you should. Stop that nonsense. Either you trust that the process will work or you don't. Look - giving up is what you've done before, I bet. I know I have. You have to give it time.

Remember something - you didn't put this weight on overnight. Why would you think it's going to come off overnight? That's just silly. Don't be silly. Be committed.

If you can answer "yes" to these three questions, great! Keep on doing what you're doing!

If you answered "no" to one or more of these, you've got a decision to make.

Is this going to be the time things are different or is this just another halfhearted attempt to lose the weight?

I'm going to meddle a bit here. You might not like this part. I warned you... there's still time to walk away.

Do you recognize that your obesity is killing you? KILLING you. It is putting stress and strain on your body. It is clogging your arteries. It results in diabetes. It results in heart attacks and emergency heart surgery. It results in blood clots. It results in excess wear and tear on the joints and bones. It is diminishing your life. YOUR LIFE, folks.

Do you care?

Have you given up? Why? Why would you give up on something that can absolutely be accomplished?

Look, there are kids right now in Memphis, Tennessee at St. Jude's who want more than anything to live. Through no fault of their own they find themselves at death's door. Doctors and researchers are doing everything they can to find a cure to save these kids. And the sad fact is that some of them won't make it despite the extraordinary efforts being taken. They are doing whatever it takes to save a life. Fighting diseases that are difficult to fight. Fighting diseases that are difficult to cure.

And there you sit. Shoving that donut in your mouth and having a pity party about how it is too hard. How you don't have the willpower. How you can't do it.


(I told you you might not like this part.)

Look, you can change your life - CHANGE YOUR LIFE! - today. You have the ability to do this. You have the ability to improve your health. A tiny percentage of you might - MIGHT - have a legitimate medical condition that is causing your obesity. The rest of you - including me - are this way because of choices made. Take ownership of your obesity and your life. Take responsibility for your actions.

Stop it now. You can change right now. RIGHT NOW.

The question is... do you even want to?

Look, I'd love to be able to make that decision for you. I'd love to be able to keep you on the straight and narrow. It's just not possible. You've got to do it yourself.

Unlike those darling precious kids in Memphis, you and I can change our lives simply by having the commitment to do so. By "keeping calm and carrying on", as the saying goes. By caring about ourselves more than about that crap food we're shoving in our mouth.

Why wouldn't you want to be healthier? Why wouldn't you be committed to do it?

Maybe you think you aren't strong enough.

That's ridiculous. You're strong. Stronger than you think.

Is weight loss hard? Yes, absolutely. But you know what? It is something you can do.

You can change your life starting today.

The question is... will you?

You might not like my posts. You might think I'm being an opinionated jerk. Honestly, I think I'm dead on about this. I don't shoot from the hip much. And this post is written as a reminder to me primarily and to you if you happen to read it. You might not like that I don't coddle you much in my posts. Tough. You need to hear it straight just as *I* need to hear it straight. I'm trying to encourage you to save your life. If you're offended or frustrated by what I write, ask yourself "why?".

Make it a great day!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SERASARA 1/1/2013 8:18PM

  emoticon emoticon

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THREEE 12/10/2012 10:18PM

    NO WONDER your post was honored...well said...and thanks for the kick in the pants...

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LAWANDMUSIC 12/10/2012 8:34PM

    I will trust the process!

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JIBBIE49 12/8/2012 8:27AM

    emoticon Great seeing your blog featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor. emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 12/7/2012 8:33AM

    Well said.

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MAMADWARF 12/6/2012 10:14AM

    Well written and true true true!!!!!!!!

A lot of things are hard but we do them anyway. No reason to quit. It all starts with a decision to do it!

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YULLABELLE 12/6/2012 10:02AM

    emoticon I love that you are truthful and straight to the point, and so right. Being healthy is the most important thing and without making the changes now there is no way we can become a better, healthier us. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    i really loved this post. it reminds of me of what Jillian Micheals says to the people on the biggest loser. Of course, there are people that have many challenges that keep them from wanting to or being motivated to lose weight. But in the end, it is all up to us. we are the ones that made us obese/fat what have you. we put the food in our mouths. we bought the food that made us fat. we didn't exercise. we are the ones responsible for taking it off as well. we can try to play victim, but we have to overcome these obstacles and keep going. taking care of ourselves is the best self love there is. thanks

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DMNRTS 12/5/2012 5:47AM

If you are tired of starting your diet....stop quitting. emoticon

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IRISHGIRL3 12/4/2012 1:11PM

    Thanks- I loved this. I never really thought about the net calorie deficit until I bought a fitbit tracker (not trying to promote it, but seriously - it's awesome). While setting it up/linking to SP, it changed the pound per week into net calorie deficit per day to aim for and tracks it. if I do more cardio then the max calorie limit increases accordingly. It made me think of losing weight in those terms. It finally made me "man up" and enter what I really ate - I found on days I wasn't so good I was inputing portions that may not have reflected the actual.

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ANDIE_1018 12/4/2012 1:00PM

    I really like this post - it puts a perspective on making the choice to eat healthy and exercise that I hadn't thought of before, and even though the message is not sugar coated, it is extremely motivating!

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CINDYBEL 12/4/2012 10:08AM

    Sometimes the truth hurts, but we still need to hear it.

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PROSPERME 12/4/2012 8:44AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KLABOO 12/3/2012 6:03PM


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ADVENTURE-GIRL 12/3/2012 12:37AM

    Great post! I absolutely agree with everything you have written here. Number 1 and number 2 I have always followed since I started. No matter what crazy day I am having and splurges I ALWAYS track everything.

Recently I have been struggling with number 3. I am trying to re-lose 45 lbs that I gained during pregnancy. The first time around I had patience and more resolve and successfully lost 70+ pounds. Now my own feelings of disappointment and regret are getting in the way. Thanks for the reminder that this process takes time.

My own son has health issues and it was one thing motivated me to be healthier and appreciate my life.

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CTMOM2KIDS 12/2/2012 8:37AM

    Excellent post! Hit the nail on the head! emoticon

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SHEPIL 12/1/2012 4:26PM

    I LOVE your post! I don't regret reading it at all despite your warning. It's great to read HONEST and not sugar-coated posts from people who have been there so that for us who are still trying to get there, will know what to expect. Thank you for sharing!

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NAOLEE 12/1/2012 12:55PM

    emoticon My calories are the same always because by a Dr I use 360 calories Boost because I have problem to swallow.

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MEGAYNA 12/1/2012 11:24AM

    I am going to find a way to print this post and read it every morning... every afternoon... every evening... everytime i get discouraged, or feel lazy! I only got half way through it and got up and got moving! Your words are fierce and full of encouragement, and I thank you! I hope that through my journey I can motivate and inspire people like you have so easily done here for me!

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FLYINGB16 12/1/2012 10:56AM

    One of my greatest motivators to keep going is to remind myself about all those who wish they were able to exercise and get healthy. I think of those that are ill beyond their control and I think of those born with challenges that make even the simplest tasks seem impossible.

I am so thankful I found SparkPeople and the motivation and support to reach my goals. I am an obesity survivor than has run two half-marathons, numerous 10K's, 8K's and 5k's and continues to run 25-30 miles a week because i WANT to. I am no longer the 302 pound couch potato that felt like being fit was impossible.

NO EXCUSES PEOPLE!!! Just do it!

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FOOFIE17 12/1/2012 9:02AM

    Wow, thank you.

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GOPINTOS 12/1/2012 6:22AM

    Enjoyed this. My journey began because I knew that only I could prevent the preventable. So much is out of our control, why not work on the things that we can have some control over.

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EVWINGS 12/1/2012 12:48AM

    You couldn't be more right! We all need to e reminded periodically.

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*CHOCOHOLIC* 11/30/2012 9:19PM

    I for one LOVE this! It is 100% the truth.

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PATRICIAANN46 11/30/2012 9:11PM

  emoticon Straight to the point...........

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FAITH__IN__ME 11/30/2012 8:59PM

    You are assuming you know what makes a person become overweight and that they do not realize their life is hanging in the balance. You discount the struggle. Your obvious superiority is ugly and your words are more cocky than encouraging, uplifting or positive. In order for someone to want to change they need to feel empowered, this post does not empower anyone, basically it says stop being lazy and shoving food in your mouth and be thin; if life were that easy, there would be nothing but fit people.

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BOOKWORM2004 11/30/2012 8:34PM

    You speak the honest truth...Thanks! :o)

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 11/30/2012 8:24PM

    emoticon I DID like it!

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NIKKIG3 11/30/2012 6:41PM

    YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I hate you and love you at the same time. The truth about self is the hardest pill to swallow.

When you mentioned the poor kids in the fight of their lives I thought of my son and what I would do for him. And then I thought of how much I am failing him with something as pathetic as "donuts"

No coddling needed, point taken. The truth is the truth!

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BLITZEN40 11/30/2012 2:47PM

    I love it when people aren't afraid to tell the TRUTH! As the saying goes: Telling the truth won't get you a lot of frineds, but it'll get you the right ones. Thanks for sharing!

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MILLIE5522 11/30/2012 2:31PM

    Well said!

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/30/2012 2:09PM


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OHMEMEME 11/30/2012 1:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 11/30/2012 12:49PM

  Spot on!

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FIRECOM 11/30/2012 11:37AM

    The truth will set you free. It will also get you to goal. I used to say to myself that if no one saw me eat that piece of cake, the calories didn't count.

Thanks for a great blog.

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IN102WIN 11/30/2012 11:24AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FREDSEVOLUTION 11/30/2012 11:21AM


You are right on. I'm guilty. I may come back to re-read from time to time. What a great blog. Thanks emoticon

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BOILHAM 11/30/2012 9:37AM

    Well.... I liked it.

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LAURIE5658 11/30/2012 9:36AM

    What a superb blog and THANK YOU!

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BEYOURBEST1 11/30/2012 8:21AM

    Great blog.

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GREASE31 11/30/2012 7:52AM


I luv this Blog, what you have written, down in this Blog, is exactly how i, used to be feel, that is until i, was diagnosed as a, Type 2 Diabetic in, April this year Monday, 16th April 2012, then my life changed, dramatically see my Sparkpage, & all my Blogs, for further relevant information. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERYL_ANNE 11/30/2012 7:24AM

    Your post rocks! The responsibility is ours whether we want to accept it or not. If it means I have measure/weigh my portions and track the nutrition I put into my body for the rest of my life - so be it.


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COURTNEYANNEMT 11/30/2012 7:06AM

  I keep trying

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CRAZY_DIET_MOM 11/30/2012 6:47AM

    Thank you!! All great advice, all things we should know - but sometimes it takes someone else's words to really open our eyes.

Today I am making the decision to get off my butt and do something... some kind of exercise for at least 10 minutes.

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LINDAJOYWK 11/30/2012 6:34AM


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REENIE131 11/29/2012 10:15PM

    Great blog!

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BERGIE8771 11/29/2012 9:32PM

    After hiring a personal trainer and working for 1.5 months I have gained 2 lbs. I love exercise, I hate giving up my sugar & fat soooo today (before reading this) I made the decision not to eat my favorite maple donut which is at home. I decided to replace it with a maple granola bar which is about 300 cals less than that donut.

Thanks for your blog it is reinforcing my healthier choice, one of a million? billion? I will need to make to lose this weight.

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MIZCATH 11/29/2012 9:20PM

    So true! Very well said!

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KATWOMAN234 11/29/2012 9:01PM

    Just what I needed to read!! Thanks for being honest and to the point.

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