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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I didn't expect it to happen so fast, her going downhill. We had one month with her living at home and actually enjoyed every minute. Even bathtime, then for the past month, she has been in the hospital twice and the nursing home the rest of the time. Her lungs keep filling up with fluid and her left leg and ankle swell. She retains fluid as her heart can not pump it out. We know it is a matter of time but how long, only God knows. She is increasingly more and more depressed and wants to come home. Everyday when we leave she asks if she is going home with us. We would love to bring her home but don't know how we could care for her. She requires breathing treatments with a steroid during the day. She is on continual oxygen. She can't stand and walk but for a few steps. And she is a big woman so not easy to lift. We would have to be with her constantly and my husband and I both still work and need to work as we are helping both our sons financially right now.
My youngest son lost his job about 6 weeks ago and is planning to return to college in January to pursue a degree where he can teach social studies and political science. He barely made it through university with a degree in English but it isn't good enough to teach. His wife makes good money where she works but you know it is not enough. My other son and his wife and both severely underemployed and we are paying their mortgage and other things to help out. And Christmas is coming as well. Obamacare has kicked in and both are at 30 hours per week at a paltry wage and not enough to get by on.
We pray earnestly for a change in circumstance for all of them.
Yesterday I went for a massage after leaving my MIL and I went to the bathroom and just sat and cried. It is so hard to know what to do and we are trying to think of things to keep her occupied. Today I am going to take an angel picture that she had hanging over her bed and hand it over her TV in her room instead of the non descript landscape that is currently there. I also have the book HEAVEN IS REAL about the 5 year old who was very sick, actually went to heaven and remembered it all. I am going to take it and read it to her. I hope she would like that. Thankfully, my husband and I are not wealthy but we do have resources to be able to help and my business continues on. Clients still call.
Funny thing, when there is a recession or bad economy, people turn to fixing up their own homes rather than building new ones. So the Lord is taking care of us in that way.
So that is where we are, just hanging on to each day and making the best of it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Praying for you and your family. It is so difficult when you seem to be hit from all sides--health, finances, family issues, I can empathise. Our family has been through similar situations (and all at the same time). Remember to take care of yourself.
    emoticon emoticon
    1939 days ago
    Carol, I won't lie and say it will get better cause it probably won't. We went through that last year with daddy until he finally just gave up. Prayers going up for all of you. Just take one day at a time and try to take care of yourself. You know she would not want ya'll to get sick/down during this time if she really knew what was going on. ((((HUGS))))
    1940 days ago
    so many people i know are going thru really challenging times, financially, physically and emotionally. all we can do is cling to God, encourage one another, and keep on....we gotta get up ONE MORE time than we fall down.
    praying that our gracious Father will fill you with His love, and carry you in His mercy. emoticon
    1940 days ago
    What a hard time you are having.
    1940 days ago
    1940 days ago
    Aww, your story just broke my heart. It is so hard to take care of a loved one. I'm in a similar circumstance, but not as far down the road yet with my own father. He's almost always in and out of the hospital for something, and I always wonder if he is coming out or not. We all need to stay strong. God only gives us what we can handle. Just sometimes wish it was a lighter load. Wishing you luck, and lots of prayers.

    Keep your head up high.

    1941 days ago
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