Monday, November 26, 2012
I really wish I had someone close by that I could depend on to help support me and motivate me. I do not like having someone constantly watching every bite of food I put in my mouth and asking "do you need that" or make comments like "I thought you were on a diet". They don't understand I am not looking at it as a diet but as a lifestyle change. I need support not a drill sergeant! I am allowed to eat! I am allowed to snack! I am not physically able to take walks or get much exercise so I have to rely mostly on eating healthy and I am under a lot of stress right now so I am having a very difficult time. My husband is a snacker so that doesn't help. Also we are living with my mama right now and have been for the past 3 years and until we get our case settled and get our money we are pretty much living in our bedroom at night because the tv in the living room is right next to her bedroom and keeps her awake so when she goes to bed at 8 we end up going to our room to watch tv and my husband has all kinds of cookies and chips and just knowing they are there drives me nuts and I have a hard time resisting them and a lot of times I don't. I have gained 37 pounds of the 69 I had lost because I am an emotional eater. I have tried reading, doing my nails, all the hints that I can think of but I am weak when it comes to temptations. I refuse to go to bed at 8 just to keep from eating. People will leave messages on my blogs and they make it sound so simple but it isn't that simple for me. Also with the price of groceries going higher and higher I am really having a difficult time buying healthy foods to eat and snack on. I am still using my journal but not as committed to it as I had planned. I still have 34 days left on my 61 day challenge to track my food and see the results, so far things are not going the way I had planned. Today was what I considered a successful day saving my protein bar for my bedtime snack. Oh well now I feel better!