Monday, November 26, 2012
So around the time of my last blog, I had a complete meltdown where I just utterly lost faith in myself as far as ever losing weight or managing my food/beer intake. In my meltdown moment, I called my mom to vent. When I was a young girl and I used to scream and rave about how "fat" I felt, my mom would always insist that I was not fat, that I was imagining it and being way too hard on myself. This time, the only consolation she could offer was to say that she was willing to pay for me to do Weight Watchers. I was so insulted. It felt like giving up. It felt like surrendering myself to this "diet" and to this regime. It meant that my attempts to lose weight on my own with Sparkpeople were in vain, and that I needed someone to hold my hand.
Three weeks later, I went through another week of tracking carefully on sparkpeople, feeling deprived and frustrated, and then finally crashing with a big feast of italian food and self pity. I got on the scale at the end of a weekend of anti-dieting, and I was so big that I was almost back at my start weight. I decided to take my mom up on her offer. I went to a weight watchers meeting, started using their online tracking tools, and I have to say, I absolutely LOVE it.
the support and advice I was receiving from Sparkpeople were utterly AMAZING. This website has gotten me through (and will continue to get me through) some of the most trying times of the last 3 years of my life. I just happen to be a person that finds the "points" system of tracking more effective, and the weightwatchers meetings offer me a sense of accountability and support that I just really need. Maybe someday soon I can start saving myself the $50 a month and just go back to using sparkpeople, but right now, this is what works for me.
But I really believe that there are some things that Sparking offers that you just can't get anywhere else.....people around the world willing to slog through your blogs and offer advice and support at any time of the day or night. A determination to achieve goals in ALL walks of life, not just weightloss. I am so lucky that SP is the kind of website thst you can use in TANDEM with another weightloss program. I am so "sparked" with the support of my WW meetings and my Sparkfriends, and I look forward to sharing all the little ups and downs of this new approach to my journey with you all. I have decided that I
--deserve to be out of plus size clothes.
--deserve to be able to use my body like a well-oiled machine; hiking and climbing and dancing
--deserve to be confident enough in my body that I can date decent guys
--deserve to buy myself the little things I promise myself I can have when I accomplish SMALL goals, not just the BIG 125lb goal
Anyways, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I look forward to being more in touch!!!!