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    CHICCHANTAL   22,881
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Spreading myself a bit

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Monday, November 26, 2012

You know you're middle-aged when it all starts to spread. People aren't kidding when they say it's like holding a flame near a wax candle and watching the effect. All over.

I mean honestly. Today I wore a white blouse to work, that I haven't been able to wear for about eight years, and the blouse fits ok. But . . . it's rather short and my skirt (which was too tight when I was on holiday in France) is slipping down, and so there was a bit of a gap at times.

Draughty, darlings, draughty.

So there I was clutching my middle region rather self-consciously. I mean, my gut is MUCH smaller than it was a few months ago, but it's not what you would call a thing of beauty. By definition a gut isn't, is it? It's . . . well, it's a gut. And in the case of mine, it's sort of deflated rather than reduced in size. It's all there still but there's less of me filling it out than there used to be.

I used to think that the term 'middle-aged spread' referred to weight GAIN but now I'm not sure. Now I think it's possibly the habit that whatever you've got just . . . reaches further. Side to side. Top to bottom (don't even get me started on my bottom). A few years ago one of my colleagues suggested I needed a bodyshaper which is what my mother would call a girdle. I thought that was the single nastiest comment anyone had ever made about my fat. She must have thought that one out with both hands for a fortnight.

It's a good thing she can't see my now, that's all I can say. She'd probably go out and buy me one for Christmas.

Never mind.

Anyone mentions bodyshapers to me, they get my halo wrapped round their chops.

I've been properly on track today for the first time in a week. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELAINE725 1/8/2013 10:09AM

    emoticon

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NLYR20 12/24/2012 12:44PM

  Great going in fitting on the ones you like to try....

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COCOONGIRL 12/13/2012 9:40PM

    Adorable and SO true!! LOVE it!!

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TPETRIE 12/2/2012 7:38AM

  You certainly "GUT" that right. Can you imagine wearing a girdle. I don't know if they still make those awful things. Thank God for Sparkpeople, they have us going in the right direction.

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CHERYLSBUTT 12/1/2012 10:12PM

    I had a similar occurance at church Sunday
Wore my cute skirt..too big...my nice blouse a wide belt...and guess what
the belt rode up...the skirt fell down and there it was ...my glorious backside
hanging out at the altar!
Hysterical!!!

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ANGELN325 12/1/2012 7:00AM

    Thank you for taking a problem many of us can identify with and turning it into humorous. I feel you on the girdle although I do have some. LOL

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DEEEBEE 11/30/2012 12:23AM

    Well...I'm PAST middle age, but it isn't too bad. My problem is with wearing jeans and they are cut too low for me. I'm short and look ridiculous in tunics, BUT when I lift my arms, my shirt goes up along with them and my pants fall down, exposing a wrinkly stomach NO ONE wants to see! So I have to wear a long shirt tucked in UNDER my shirt, even in summer. I'd love the styles to change.

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CLAYARTIST 11/29/2012 9:46PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINDA! 11/29/2012 6:48PM

    I have that middle age spread...and I hate it. But I know that exercise and diet will help.

Thanks for the great blog!

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NYKIMMIE 11/29/2012 1:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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POLSKARENIA 11/29/2012 1:00PM

    Well done on the successful day! those bodyshapers are all very well, until you need the bathroom - took me ages to get out and back into mine a few years ago - not easy to do if you're trying to cross your legs at the same time!!

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WALLINMW 11/29/2012 8:25AM

  Congrats

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MARYHENNIG 11/29/2012 12:01AM

  Too funny! Love the way you write.

There is actually a pop-up add for invisible and sexy shapewear on the left side of my screen as I write this. Some chick who thinks she looks hot...she has one leg crossed over the other - probably trapped in there and has to pee!

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PAULAROCKS3 11/28/2012 11:16PM

    I love how you make me laugh every time!! Thank you so much!

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MANILUS 11/28/2012 10:32PM

    This made me laugh because my husband said this to me that I needed a girdle to wear a new dress. I just showed him this and he thinks a husband should tell his wife but I was seriously offended at the time. Now I don't need it to wear the dress, weight and body image is a difficult topic.

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KELLIEBEAN 11/28/2012 8:16PM

    Congrats on your progress! I caught a glimpse of my middle age spread (my backside) in the mirror at the gym last night and lost my balance a little bit. It was wide and low. Eek!

Love your blogs!

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SPAQUEEN2012 11/28/2012 8:01PM

    Yes Janette - - that extra body doesn't go away -- it just gets "shaped differently"!
emoticon

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ANGRITTER 11/28/2012 7:46PM

    I came by to tell you that I finally got my own little Fake Epping Forest cleaned out in my back yard after the power company cut the canopy down to repair my lines, but I am sittle here jiggling my fat flap now! I know it sounds ridiculous, but have you seen the move "Click!" with Adam Sandler. In one of his alternate realities he goes into a coma and loses weight and ends up with a "fat flap".

I am praying I am not going to have one of those!!

Oh, but the Epping Forest... I put up pics on my blog and it isn't at all the same, but I will have to take a pic from inside it and you can see the "Epping Effect" as I like to call it! Where the light filters in and you feel like you are in another, more perfect world. Just thought I'd let you know you had inspired the name, so there it is. But you've still got me laughing!

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LAWANDMUSIC 11/28/2012 5:59PM

    Me, too!! Loved the post!

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CREEL55 11/28/2012 4:39PM

    Great post! Wish I'd written it. I certainly mirror the content. thanks for the laughs!!

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MKATE88 11/28/2012 3:42PM

    This was funny to read. I'm only 24, but I've had 2 kids, and I think there's a "post pregnancy spread" as well!

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SAMTHEKID 11/28/2012 2:57PM

  Great story! Congrats.
One question: Am I the ONLY Sparker that doesn't know what "draughty" means?? emoticon

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ROSGETSSERIOUS 11/28/2012 2:36PM

    I agree that we should be proud of our jiggles - I know I am working hard for them! Think my shirt looks more like a litter of kittens struggling to get out at times!! What an insulting thing to say about the body- shaper - she is lucky that they don't make ' tact shapers' or I would send her one for Christmas. Have a great week!


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AEBROWNSON 11/28/2012 1:54PM

    Don't knock the bodyshapers till you've tried them! The "non-filled in" skin tends to be kind of jiggly, and a tight (but not too tight) body shaper makes for much less jiggling! I have serveral bodyshaper camisoles, and I love them.

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JUDYAASH 11/28/2012 1:28PM

    Love it! You should have told her she needed a head shaper.

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 11/28/2012 12:59PM

  hahaha... that was a good read for a rainy day.

Next time someone tells you to wear a body suit, tell them their spanx must be to tight because blood flow is cut off to their brain to make such a suggestion. :)

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AMANDEES76 11/28/2012 12:26PM

    You are too funny! Congrats on the great strides you are making on the journey to reach your goals. You are definitely doing better than I am at this point but I am not giving up and continue to check in everyday with SP so that is at least a small step along the journey. Eventually I will be active everyday as I want to be.

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ILIKETOZUMBA 11/28/2012 12:14PM

    LOL who goes around and tells people they need some shapewear?? Ridiculous. But hey, I hear you on the spread thing - and I'm still in my 20s! Everything I've got is floppier and hangs lower than it used to, even though I'm skinnier and weigh less now but totally have more muscle than I did in high school. It's not fair, but hey, I'll take the floppy sag over having so much fat that my skin looks like it's about to pop. :)

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LJOYCE55 11/28/2012 12:10PM

  Great way to share - thank you. emoticon

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NOTTOOLATEJUDY 11/28/2012 10:54AM

    emoticon

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MRSTABER 11/28/2012 10:43AM

    emoticon

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ROMEOSMOM27 11/28/2012 10:23AM

    emoticon
deeturner.herbalhub.com

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ESME25 11/28/2012 10:20AM

    emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/28/2012 9:21AM

    I know just what you mean. I have lost 114 pounds. But I jiggle. I wish you could take a pair of scissors and just cut it off. My friend called me sexy mama. I don't see anything sexy about this body.

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AJB121299 11/28/2012 8:25AM

    Kudos

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 11/28/2012 6:39AM

    Great job

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TDEMAIO2 11/28/2012 6:06AM

    I love my morning giggles :D Thank you :D I used to weigh over 200 and now 135 and I am a walking jello bowl lol :D I am 53 and WE should be PROUD of ourselves with all our jiggles with our wiggles :D Keep going your doing GREAT emoticon

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JILLIEWILLIE1 11/28/2012 5:17AM

    I have thought of getting a top. Kind of helping the skin think about returning to its original condition...that middle age thing is keeping it loose!

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SENIMMO 11/28/2012 3:12AM

    The only time spreading is good is when you are putting peanut butter on toast, or that black stuff to resurface a driveway. Not when it's my caboose on a chair, or any other part of me doing rude things I'd rather stop thinking of. emoticon

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HAKAPES 11/28/2012 2:27AM

    Let's keep on rocking! :-)

One of the most encourageing comments I got from a peer, that "You're face is different. Your muscles are toned."

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BLUEJEAN99 11/28/2012 1:58AM

    emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 11/28/2012 1:02AM

    Gravity keeps us grounded, but it has its downside too. emoticon

Thanks for the giggle,
Lisa

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PCASEY7 11/27/2012 11:56PM

    Thanks for my daily giggle!

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KARRENLYNN 11/27/2012 11:45PM

    I'm very proud of your accomplishments and ready to keep cheering you on!

Have a great week!

Karen emoticon emoticon

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NEWCHINELO 11/27/2012 10:59PM

    Yes ,you can do it.

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SKYVALLEYGAL 11/27/2012 10:33PM

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ROCKYCPA 11/27/2012 10:22PM

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SHOAPIE 11/27/2012 10:00PM

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KIPPER15 11/27/2012 9:29PM

    Frustrating isn't it. But look at the progress! emoticon emoticon

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CLAYARTIST 11/27/2012 9:19PM

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