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Starting over, again, but with relaxed intent

Monday, November 26, 2012

Just listened again to a podcast about the power of relaxed intent (wanting something, but with a sense that either way you'll be OK, instead of holding on too tightly to one fixed outcome).

It came at a great time. I've been binging every other day for awhile now. I reverted back to this very self-destructive habit around the beginning of October when I got bad news about my own health and had just gotten to my goal weight. Then my marriage went into crisis. Then we found out that my husband might have cancer. It's all been way too much and try as I might, I haven't been able to stop the binging.

Listening to this podcast, I realized that in holding on so tightly to the outcome, I'm effectively pushing it away. I keep focusing tightly on what I don't want to do (I don't want to binge, I don't want to gain weight back, I don't want to be out of control, I don't want...). Well all this negative focus and white knuckling of the desired outcome is exactly how NOT to get what I actually want.

This is true with my weight and my marriage.

So, what to do? Well, for my weight, I'm starting over, again, today. And I'm getting back to basics, focusing on my towards motivators - all the things I want: eating well and taking care of myself, having more energy, self-confidence, a feeling of ease and lightness, pleasure when hungry for meals, etc.

I want this to be the first day of many days of waking up feeling great about myself, which comes from choosing self care and long term pleasure over destructive instant gratification.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINAJANE76 11/26/2012 7:12PM

    I know that you can do it, Julie! You're still here and you're still working towards what you want out of this process--these are great signs. It's great to hear that you're focusing on the positives. This will serve you well as you keep on pushing through these tough times. Hang in there and stay strong!
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PIXIE-LICIOUS 11/26/2012 5:03PM

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 11/26/2012 12:48PM

    Very true about 'relaxing' about the outcome (the when and how exactly things will happen)... as I too feel it ends up pushing it further away.

Here's to starting over!

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TOPAZZSCORPION 11/26/2012 12:41PM

    I'm also struggling to break the binge cycle. It's hard to eliminate our go-to coping habits when life kicks us in the face. I'm glad you're taking it easy- no use being your own worst enemy with everything else going on.

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LE7_1234 11/26/2012 12:09PM

    (((Julie)))

Sometimes I find that if the urge to binge starts and I tell myself "I can eat this if I really want it"... the urge to eat it goes away. Um, tell myself in a mindful, listening to the answer kind of way, not the "no one can tell me what to do" kind of way.

I don't think it's a key to all your troubles, but it can at least help take the struggle away from the food.... Help you relax, as it were.

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WILSON1926 11/26/2012 11:53AM

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