Monday, 11/26 The Negative Influences of Pain
Monday, November 26, 2012
It's been a bit rough around here since early Thursday morning. I have briefly alluded to it and I am living with it. It hurts. What is it or which it? My lower back and my right hip are aching and throbbing together and it is a sharp, sickening pain that isn't backing off. None of the things in my tool box are helping me out of this either. I have tried everything I have from my NSAID patches to ice to my tens unit to my breakthrough pain meds. It is wearing me down.
This is one of the times that I used to try eating. Eating doesn't help this and that is a fact, but in the past, I would go find anything to eat and give comfort that the kitchen has to offer. Thank goodness that I realize this won't help in the first place and that I also don't have any chocolate chip cookies or other such comfort foods in my house these days. I am not sure that I would be able to manage things if I hadn't cleaned up the contents of the kitchen.
Anyway, I am awake again and this pain is going to mess around with my ability to focus on the things on my plate today. I got started on a few tasks yesterday and we might even get the Christmas tree set up tonight. I will be focusing on studying after I go to the pool. That was the only place that I didn't ache and throb yesterday. I had to tone my workout down a bit to be able to do anything yesterday, but I am glad that I could do that. As a rule, the water is soothing and calming and that didn't let me down yesterday.
This entire week is jammed full of things that I must address. I have morning duty to start things out today, and it is the day to get my entire presentation for Wednesday organized and to study for my coming exam on the international alphabet and sounds. Tomorrow, I have a workshop after school on close reading that corresponds to the Common Core State Standards. On Wednesday, I once again have duty before school and I have my class after school--but I also have to find time either before school or before my class to get to the hospital for my pre-op labwork. I have no clue how to fit that in unless I get there at 5:30 when they open or unless I refuse a second duty day in one week. I don't see anyone else having to do this and it really bugs me that I have been given this to deal with. Thursday, after school, I have a doctor's appointment. Finally, on the weekend, I plan to have a couple of "wrapping parties." My older kids are going to help me out with getting some very important tasks done that are weighing on my mind.
Anyway, I have to find some ways to get past this pain to live my life and to manage these important responsibilities. Sitting here whining about pain won't serve any purpose anyway and will make the moments seem like forever. I really have dealt with enough of this sort of thing that I know the pitfalls. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO MAKE IT BETTER. I think it is important to understand what this pain is like. It is deep down inside my body and if I cough a tiny cough or yawn, I feel a sharp pain in that area around my lower back and my right hip that turns my stomach. Any movement seems to aggravate it as does sitting still. I do know that when I get to work and am busy beyond busy, I will become distracted enough to ignore it at a different level for the majority of my day. Yet, that will be a problem of a different nature. By ploughing through this pain and working hard--I will have to force myself to get pain meds at a regular time and if I recognize that it hurts, I will lose my focus on what I am trying to do. Further, if I ignore it at that level, it will leave me in far worse shape when 2:50 comes and I have a moment when I will and must listen to my body. That will keep me from my work on my studies. I cannot really win this.
There is nothing that anyone can do to help me with any of this. I am definitely here, right now, venting and whining. In about 15 minutes, I will get ready for work and that assigned duty which will make my day start off in tumultuous fashion. I left my refrigerator open and defrosting and I will need to clean is and I will need to get Digger situated in her cage as we share our morning fruit. (I will need to eat a bit or my system will fight the strong meds I will need to take so I can get around from place to place today.) The announcements will be on as I try to quickly read my morning emails and as I prepare my first lesson of the day. From there, the kids will take over and things will move rapidly. That is how my work day is--I see 68 children in groups lasting from 20 minutes to 40 minutes with people stopping by to ask other things of me throughout my day and no time for myself to eat or go to the restroom or to think. My world is a hectic place and to all of the teacher critics in the world who think we sit around waiting for our summer vacation and our pensions, well, I more than earn what I get paid.
OK, I am now just ranting to be ranting. I need to get past this and it would seem that the tasks at hand will do that until 2:50 gets here. I can pray that activity will make this pain be different. It would be helpful. I am not usually this negative, but it is also a side effect of chronic pain in my body.
Let this Monday begin!! I will tackle it with everything I have in me.
Gentle hugs are not quite in order here--I need all of my personal strength and intelligence to manage this situation.