Monday, November 26, 2012
ok. I guess I'm going to get a little sappy this time. I've been sitting here thinking all about my poor choices. Guess maybe I shouldn't start out negative like this. But, I'm kinda kicking myself right now, because I know I can do better. I've been purely lazy. That's it. But the reasoning for that is my poor diet. I am tired all the time, shaky, feel bloated and sick. Yes, there are days when I don't even want to leave my house because I'm so ashamed of my body. My lack of sticking to a healthy diet is causing severe motivational problems. Oh, and did I mention those horrible mood swings. I was told by my doctor that I have a chemical imbalance, so that doesn't help. And I'm not helping myself either.
My work is suffering too. If I treated my car like I treated my body, guess I'd be stuck at home. That's kind of the way I feel anyway. I need to get my mind involved in this weight loss process! No more f'in around. I feel so good when I excercise. I can't even explain it. I was doing great before the holidays, and I want so badly to do what I always do, and blame it on that. But, this blaming stuff has to stop too. I'm in this mess, because that's all I do is blame things, people or situations on my mental problem. It's me. I am the one standing in my own way. I love my family, but my mind is so cluttered right now. My husband did say he would join the sp diet, which is huge, so now I feel tons of support. So, my whole family will do this. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel now.
This blog is just meant for me to vent. I haven't been doing good and getting no where. So, this is just kind of my means at yelling at myself and saying, "snap out of it!"