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    PEANUTSMOM96   23,836
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funny email I received today ...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO WAL-MART
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLELVR7 11/27/2012 7:33AM

    emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 11/27/2012 12:02AM

    Ouch!

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PRINCESS1959 11/26/2012 6:26PM

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COOKINGSTARS 11/26/2012 6:10PM

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TEALHAWK 11/26/2012 5:59PM

  That is so funny! Good one emoticon

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FELINA 11/26/2012 1:36PM

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Too funny !!!!

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DR1939 11/26/2012 8:53AM

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MIRFA71 11/26/2012 3:01AM

    emoticon emoticon .. enjoyed reading this.

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PAMNANGEL 11/26/2012 2:24AM

    Heard it before, still darn funny!!
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SCOOTDOG 11/26/2012 1:40AM

    I like your since of humor.

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2ABBYNORMAL 11/25/2012 11:47PM

    Too funny!
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TIMOTHYNOHE 11/25/2012 10:48PM

    I think I am on that diet.

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