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    NFSISTER   29,969
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Too many thoughts


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Now that Thanksgiving is over it's time to start thinking about Christmas. With that comes the stress. My mother-in-law may or may not invite my husband to Christmas Eve. If he's invited I may be as well, but don't know. If I am I'll be expected to leave my parents here after they drive 9 hours to be with me for Christmas. Last year my husband made the mistake of trying to invite my parents to his parents for Christmas Eve. That got him uninvited and he hasn't been with his parents for a holiday since. Anyway, his parents will expect to be invited here for Christmas Day, as long as we eat when it suits them. I don't want them here, but he has the right to spend the day with his parents.

Anyway, apparently I slept a lot this weekend. My mom and husband both keep mentioning it. It sure doesn't feel like I got a lot of sleep. Now I keep thinking that this may be my mom's last Christmas with me. She has surgery the beginning of the year and hopefully that helps her pain, but it reminds me of my brother. It doesn't make a lot of sense because his death was from a car accident, but my mom is getting older.

I've got some of my Christmas shopping done. No ideas for the remaining gifts. We're supposed to decorate next weekend. That will be nice. Now it's time to work on the handmade gifts. I hope people like them. My husband wants me to make his mom some slippers. I found a pattern I really like and have made three pair so that I can handle. I want to get some dishcloths done too. Then I can take a break until Valentine's or so when I'll start on my ducks for Easter. Too bad work gets in the way of my creative outlets.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SHERRYGAYL 11/26/2012 9:53PM

    It is such a shame when the toxic people in our lives are family. Maybe you can send your gift with your apologies but you already have plans with your own family? I'm sure you'll work something out emoticon

Also, it sounds like you are very crafty! Have you tried selling your work, either locally or online? Perhaps you could eventually replace your income from your job with a home business? I've got a few items for sale locally but no sales yet emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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1STATEOFDENIAL 11/25/2012 10:53PM

    I'm wondering why you're selling yourself to your inlaws. It's fully understandable that you want your husband to spend time with his family and all that, but that doesn't mean that you get to be trampled on to do so. If his family is going to punish both of you for your husband's mistake, then why do they get to call the shots in your house? If they want to see him and he wants to see them, he can go over for Xmas eve and you and he get to choose if you go with - whether for an hour or the evening - or not. If they don't like that, why should they be invited into your house? Your husband can spend an hour or two in the afternoon with them if they need to see him on Xmas or they can apologize to all of you and be welcome in your house under your terms.

Basically, they're saying 'our house, our family, our rules' AND 'your house, our rules'. That's not right. You have every right to set the rules in your house, invite or disinvite whomever you choose, and choose what and when to eat. You can make some food they prefer and allow them to eat when they want, while eating what you want when you want. You are worth more than what they're putting you through. Besides, your family has come from a further distance, are being much more respectful, and deserve more of your attention than your in-laws. You gave your in-laws a chance to have XX time with you and your husband and XX time belongs with your family. Don't forsake your family because of your in-law's issues. And the fact that it's stressing you out and hurting you means they're disrupting much more of your life than just one or two days - and that will never be okay. Put your foot down. If that means ignoring his family for one Xmas - either both of you or just you - then either they'll figure out their error, you'll get a chance to talk about it, or you'll set the precident that you get to make the rules.

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DMEYER4 11/25/2012 6:00PM

  good luck with christmas and your mother-in -law. Christmas should be a happy time of being together and sharing. I lost my dad 4 days before Christmas thirty years ago and it feels like yesterday. Love the people you still have because you never know if it is the last.

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