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    AEROBISAURUS   30,698
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Sunday, November 25, 2012

About five years ago my father had oral cancer. He had to have a spot on his tongue removed. Before he even got out of the hospital he had a fresh pack of Kools in his overnight bag. I was so disappointed that he would even think about smoking another cig after that scare. His doctor even told him if he continued to smoke the cancer could come back and would be worse.

His wife has been a chain smoker all her life ( 3 to 4 packs a day). She has COPD and a bunch of other health problems now. Even after all the advice from doctors to quit, she has not. I think after seeing what has happened with his wife and himself that, that, was enough to make him not quit but to dramatically cut down. I think he maybe smokes a couple cigs a day now. Which is not good but definitely better.

My dad is watching his wife slowly kill herself with smoking now. She is unable to do anything. The only thing she can do is sit and watch t.v. well, unless she goes and gets her steroid shot, then she will go out and party, aka, get drunk and smoke. Yes I know it makes no sense. When I last spoke to my dad on Thanksgiving. He told me that he had to take her to the hospital because she couldn't catch her breath. She hasn't been breathing right for the last couple of days and it's not getting better.

When he was here yesterday he told me that she only has 28% of her lung to use. Only 28% of her lung is working and guess what, she is still smoking. He said she can only smoke like 4 cigs a day now but that she just will not quit. I think reality is kinda sinking in that one day he might wake up to a dead body or worse watch her suffocate because she can't breathe anymore. Either way it goes it's very disturbing. She is only 55. So sad.

On top of it all he has a sister that is addicted to morphine. She frequently falls asleep with lit cigs and there are burn marks all over the floor and furniture where she lives he said. He has recently put her in rehab. His mother, father, and other sister are deceased.

I don't know really what to think at this point. All I can do is worry. I wish I could take this stress away from my father. It is more than sad to me it's tragic.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KWOOD1955 2/8/2013 2:08PM

    My thoughts and heart are with you.

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ITISABOUTME 11/29/2012 6:58PM

    I am so sorry and really do not know what else to say emoticon . Know that all of us are here if you need an ear or shoulder. emoticon Take care.

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K-GETTING-FIT 11/27/2012 2:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I'm sorry Nikki:( Addiction is so very difficult.

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MISHAMW 11/26/2012 10:52AM

    I am sorry to hear this, and to be honest I can completely relate. Both my parents are serious smokers. In fact it is so bad they spend the majority of there time outside smoking. My dad has emphysema and my mom coughs all the time, though she claims it's because she is sick. Which is funny because I am completely over what she gave me!

Both my parents are slowing killing themselves, and they know it! Which is the worst part of it all. Plus it makes me sick (I get headaches from the smell). My parents (although my mom has mentioned she wants too) have no intention to quit, which is a shame.

So here is what I am trying to say. Despite the fact my parents know that it causes me pain (the headaches, even from when they are just coming in from having one can trigger them), is bad for me, and is killing them (plus leeching thousands from there pocket books) they refuse to stop. I know that it is probably the same for your dad as well. They just can't because they don't think they can. Or they don't want to even try.

So I feel for you. It is sad and aggravating all at the same time. I know that I would trade anything in the world to have them stop. But I also know that it will never happen.

Hope it gets better girly! And the only thing I can really say is give them hell when you can. I always let them know that whenever I go anywhere with them, I take a shower the first thing I get back. Just to kind tell them, hey I stink....STOP IT ALREADY!

Sorry for the rant but this is a huge issue for me.

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BAKER1009 11/26/2012 8:21AM

    It is both sad and tragic Nikki. Sorry to hear that your father is going through all of this, and that you are as well.

Several people have asked me lately if I plan to smoke again after having the baby (when I quit, it was just in the nick of time, about a week before I conceived!) and I can't understand why they would ask me that?! Drives me crazy. I wanted to quit for a while, but this gave me a serious reason. With 10 months under my belt, why in the world would I want to start again??!

Anyway, my thoughts are with you both. May your father have the strength to deal with this all!


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TRUCKERWIFE2 11/25/2012 12:12PM

    Sometimes it takes a financial reason for some people to quit. My husband promised me he would quit as soon as he finished this last carton. 25 years later he finally did. Up until then he would just say he liked it too much to quit. It didn't matter that I refused to buy them, that our children all had asthma (he does too), the girls were proven to be highly allergic to the smoke and he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house any longer, that his mom was going blind from it, it goes on and on. What finally made him quit was that his health insurance at work would go down dramatically if he did. He started to quit on his own without telling anyone. I had wondered what had gotten into him as he was really horrible at the time. One day he said to call the doctor and set up an appointment to find out how to quit. A few weeks later he gradually cut down enough that he just stopped.
This is a man who kept being told how healthy he was, great lung capacity, perfect cholesterol, great weight ect.
This spring he will have been stopped for 6 years. He is 55 and has put on some weight due to the fact coffee doesn't taste as good as it used to. He has switched to large quanities of sprite with an occational coffee. He is still rail thin but I think the soda has taken a toll on his eyes.
I hope your dad wakes up before it is way too late. He has to want this for himself. All of us tried to get dh to quit for years and he didn't until he really wanted to. I wish you and your dad all the best. emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 11/25/2012 11:55AM

    sorry to hear about this. you can't do anything and neither your father. you can just show him you care and understand , be supportive . getting rid of any addiction is very hard and few people can make it. emoticon

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KAPELAKIN 11/25/2012 11:31AM

    What a very sad situation, I'm so sorry that your family can't seem to get away from those nasty cigarettes. There is some sort of weird psychology in that people need the chemical comfort from the nicotine when they're under stress, and can't see that cigarette "friend" as the main source of the stress to begin with. My uncle used to smoke, and his wife just kept on smoking while he was wasting away from lung cancer. It was her way of dealing with the stress, but she wouldn't even take it out of the house and spare him the second hand smoke. Very sad.

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