Saturday, November 24, 2012
Purple top on the right, around 245 10/2012
Heather and I did a beach bootcamp with some people from my work a few weeks ago. Little did I know that the Wellness Director (the wee one in the bottom left) would use this picture inside the front page of our 2013 Benefits Booklet - the one they distributed last week and want all 500 or so employees to keep all year.
It shows the bottom of my tummy, the last part of me I still always try to cover. So in a way, rather than taking a step forward in my confidence with showing that part of me, I am kinda more like pushed onto a catwalk. And luckily--I'm okay.
I know a lot of people struggle with accepting pictures of themselves. I have too, to the extreme of temper tantrums and crying fits. But now, besides having a lot to be proud of, I have a method. Shortly after I joined SparkPeople I decided to first accept and then embrace the pictures of me. If they're were unflattering in a way that I rejected before, I adapted to being at peace with the fact that I appeared that way, for that second captured-just that moment in time. We are ever-changing, moving, breathing, living beings. And usually we're not exactly the way we look on film or pixels. Sometimes the camera can capture that sparkle in our eyes that everyone else gets to see, but is lost in the mirror when we are busy evaluating (or worse-criticizing) our appearance.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that picture with my SparkFriends and show you this one of the sunrise the following weekend when I went back to run on the beach with my co-worker. My phone wasn't doing well picking up the colors that I could see with my eyes, so I adjusted contrast to make it more vivid- the way I saw it.
Carlsbad, CA 2012
If I had never started my more active life, I would have continued to miss out on things like this, and only glimpsing breathtaking views through my tv or laptop screen.