Advice I would give to anyone, yet don't take myself, whats with that???
I've been sick for the past few weeks. It started after my daughter in law who has terminal cancer left with my grandson to stay with her family for a while. I was run ragged while she was here and got myself exhausted and then sick the very weekend she left. I think I just powered down after having so much on my plate. I ended up with a raging sore throat, aching body, headache - the usual flu symptoms, not just a cold. I was flat for 2 weeks and admittedly did very little in those 2 weeks - just loads of reading, TV viewing and sleeping.
I don't have a domestic, so housework still has to be done. I have a very old house which untidies very quickly and gets dusty very quickly. Hubby is crazy busy at work at this time of the year and not much of a house husband to begin with LOL. Still, I did the barest minimum for those 2 weeks.
I woke up one morning feeling much much better and instantly got up, went to the coffee shop and resumed my life which included bathing dogs because both my dogs picked up mange from an outing hubby took them on. This meant medicating and dipping which I duly did........only to relapse. I could have kicked myself.
There I was sick again, sore throat the whole trip and MAD AT MYSELF. Spent another week feeling energy-less and just useless. After that week I seemed to feel better again and got back up and at it. Yesterday included walking to town to fetch my car which went in for a minor repair. It was waay too hot (for me-I really cant handle the heat) and by last night I didn't feel fantastic, but also not really sick. mostly tired which I put down to the 1km (just short of one mile) walk after doing pretty nothing for a time, which meant I carried on regardless. I went to the beach for a barbecue with a bunch of friends and it was tremendous fun. I met an old friend who says she lived next door to me, knew my name, hubbies name, how long we were married, my older sons name...came unstuck with my younger sons name. Justin and I felt awful because we could only remember her son who was 28 at the time and dying of cancer leaving behind a young wife and son. She remembers me bringing them coffee and home baked cookies while they moved in, says i babysat her grandson while they moved in and also that I gave them candles for their first night because they didn't know about prepaid electricity and had not made provision....I remember NOTHING! Weird, because neither does Justin remember them at all.
Anyway my walk in the heat and my night out at the sea paid a penalty and this morning I woke up stuffy nosed and feeling exhausted again. So when my mom came strolling through to my side of the house asking if I would go with her for coffee (my mom is a typical galloping granny
) I really wasn't in the mood, but felt for her feelings of "aloneness" and gathered my bag and went. From the coffee shop, she just wanted to quickly pop into the supermarket....aaargh.... all I wanted to do was go home. But I dutifully went into the supermarket and bought some bread and some writing equipment to draw a picture for my grandsons card etc. After I was done, I couldn't find my mom in the store so I went outside to the car. Didn't see her their either, so I sat on a bench and just stared into space. I didn't realize at this point that my handbag was hanging on the end of my trolley still. At some point, I needed a tissue and looked for my handbag....MISSING.
I went into the store and reported my bag missing but the truth is, I didn't expect that someone had handed it in. The security searched all the trolleys going in and out and all I could do was leave my name and number in the event someone eventually realized they had a spare handbag hanging off the end of their trolley. The tragedy of this is not the handbag itself....it was old and just a bag. The tragedy is I had been paid back a loan I made to someone only the night before, a whole R2000 (224$) was still in my bag.
At a point I gave up and we went home. On the way home, I spotted my bag lying behind a tree IN MY STREET. The thief had run around the block, and dumped my bag. Well, at least I got house keys, bank cards and ID book etc back, just obviously not the cash. Guess I'll be grateful for that.
So today I feel like Job. I wished I had just said NO THANK YOU.
I really must learn that I don't have to do it all and I don't have to worry about everyones well being. I am so mad at myself but being mad wont help.
So today....this is me
At least I didn't binge eat. I just had tea.......that's good for me in this kind of situation. So I'll see it as not all bad.