Friday, November 23, 2012
I hate to even admit it to myself, much less anyone else (or potentially hundreds of people!), but I REALLY let myself go over the course of the summer, until November. I mean, REALLY let myself go. It really started to scare me - straight into doing something about it! I had NO energy. ZERO, zilch, zip! All I wanted to do all day long was sit on my big ole' arse and do nothing!
Now...I admit, this is not new. I have become fairly sedentary over the years, even during times I have been working out and losing weight. But THIS - this beat all. The worst part was, when I needed to do something active (and it really didn't need to take much) I just couldn't do it. I was too exhausted and too sore to be able to press through it. That was scary as heck! That's what happens to......OBESE PEOPLE. Yeah............guess what........... YOU ARE!!
It was my 'rock bottom' moment, when I needed to clean out my refrigerator. It was dirty, it needed cleaning. I couldn't do it. I had to sit on a chair through most of it, and even still I needed a couple of my girls to help out with a huge chunk of it because I simply couldn't do it.
Do you hear what I'm saying?! I COULDN'T CLEAN OUT MY FRIDGE!!!
There is something so very wrong with that picture. It scared my socks straight off. Two days later (because apparently I had to 'convince' myself, or something) I started slowly making changes.
The first thing I did was go back to my favorite Yoga video that I can't believe I ever stopped. That first day?? OH BOY.........I'm glad I'm not on the Truman show or anything, because it was ugly. But you know what? I did it, and did it to the ABSOLUTE best of my ability, despite doing it 'perfectly'. Time has gone by, and it is getting easier!! Much quicker than I thought it would!
One of the big markers for me was making our Thanksgiving meal. Not only did we cook the meal, we deep cleaned our kitchen at the same time. (Don't ask me why. We just started to do it, and went with it.) Under normal circumstances, I would have needed to sit down a lot during the day. I sat a few times to rest while peeling potatoes, carrots, or rutabagas, but other than that, I was up and working for about 7 hours straight! I was shocked at myself - but it was really a good indicator that even though the weight isn't falling off my body the way I *think* it should, I am building endurance. It has been such an encouragement to me to see this happening!
So, overall, things are getting easier, and I am working harder. In the past, if I haven't seen the weight coming off in a fury, I have felt like a failure. NOTHING could be more the opposite this time around. I am so encouraged in MYSELF, because this time it has sunk in. The lifestyle change, and the reason for it, has sunk in. And I feel so much lighter inside because of it. And, soon enough, I WILL BE lighter outside to match it! :-)