Friday, November 23, 2012
Yesterday was quite the day. I didn't mention it much (or at all) in yesterday's blog because it just felt like it needed to be separate.
Two days prior to Thanksgiving, I really felt like I was going in the right direction and that things really were/are starting to click for me. I know that there are a lot of challenges food-wise coming up, but it seems there are always challenges like that, so I need to use them to my advantage rather than use it as an excuse to pig out, followed by a vicious cycle of hating myself, eating to drown out that hate/disgust, and then hating myself more.
I had a tentative plan for yesterday. It was my turn to host the dinner, and it was actually my first time really cooking the whole deal.
I know what everyone likes, so I kept it at that: Turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pickles/olives/black olives, rolls, croissants, green bean casserole, candied yams, lefse with sugar and/or brown sugar.... oh, and pumpkin pie with Cool Whip of course.
The week before I was apprehensive because I just wasn't "getting it" and was continuing to eat like crap. I am so glad I didn't go into this day with that attitude.
I got up to run, got out there, then wimped out. Yup. I wimped out. It was -11 degrees with the wind (real feel temp) whereas just a few days before was 50 degrees. With that wind, I just wasn't ready. So, I went back home (I was meeting up with beginners...honestly, if any of them showed up, I would have stuck it out, but no one showed up).
From beginning to end, making the meal, doing laundry, cleaning up the place, etc. etc. was actually pretty easy considering...I did plan everything out though and made sure it was all super organized. However, I did end up sending DH out about 4 times for things I neglected to pick up (like stick margarine, more milk, flour, etc.).
It was all ready just about the time my parents, brother, and sister showed up. I was surprised to see my mom (she was supposed to be working), not so surprised to see her walking in with cheesecake. Turns out she was put on-call because too many nurses were working and she has seniority. It was nice to have her eat with us!
Anyway, I knew I'd be eating a good-sized meal, but I made sure I wrote down what I planned to eat in my log book, so I would have that in mind when I actually dished up. I ended up having a plate of food. Not heaping, but a full plate. I had a bun, 2 mini croissants on the outside of my plate, and I had 1 bite of cheesecake. No pie.
Then, I kept myself busy, cleaning things, making second batches of things as they ran out. After everything was finished and I had to put the leftover food away, I pulled out all my containers, filled them up, and sent ALL of that food back with them. I wanted no leftovers here. The cheesecake went back the way it came....that felt good. We were having a bit of a snowstorm though, so my plans of being outside fell flat.
Anyway, how I handled myself yesterday during a day where people bring out their sweatpants so they can eat more, where my DH told me people on average eat about 5000 calories during the meal(s)....it gave me confidence.
Today is another win in my book. My DH works tonight, and is gone until midnight. About 100% of the time in the last 2 months I have used him being at work as a free-for-all with my eating. And I didn't tonight. I planned what I was going to have, had it, had a treat, marked that down, and here I am blogging before heading to bed.
I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I know that I am hopeful, and today I am proud of myself.
Motivation of the Day: Friends (TJ, Paula, Becks...you know it!!!)