Friday, November 23, 2012
You know the saying,"Appreciate what you have now because someday it may be gone". Well, it's very true. A few years back (2007) I experienced the loss of both of my parents within two months of each other. I can't even begin to explain how difficult that period was for me. Seriously, it felt like I was in a daze and just going through the motions on a day to day basis. Grieving felt like suffocation. It has only been recently- this year as a matter of fact, nearly 5 years later - - that I've come to grips with my loss of them. With the loss of them, we also loss our family home (as well as quite literally the family house that I grew up in my hometown)- -you can't go "home" again. The concept of what "home" is has drastically changed for me now. There is a song that we sing in church "Anywhere Is Home, if Christ Our Lord Is There.
If my life were a book, this year for me, would be a page-turner, At the beginning of the year I was involved in a car accident that totalled my car which, by the way was paid off. I was not seriously injured, thank God! But isn't it strange how when you get to the point of paying off a car, something happens to it? Why is that?
Then in July, the company I worked for announced that it would be closing. That was devastating. I think we all know what it is like to have a Love/Hate relationship with our job. There were things I loved about being a flight attendant, and things I absolutely disliked about it too, but when all was said and done, I did truly enjoy working in the travel industry. I have hopes of someday setting up my own home-based travel agency, if it's the Lord's will.
Now that I'm home more and looking for re-employment, I literally have to challenge myself to make sure my days are filled with productive activity. It is so easy to fall into despair about situations that life throws at you- -like things will never be the way they were, Nothing I can say or do will bring my parents back. Nothing I can say or do will bring my totalled car back. Nothing I can say or do will bring my job back. We have to deal with major losses like this in our own way.
So today, when I look around me, I am convicted in my heart of hearts that tough situations in life has a purpose of fine-tuning our character and exposing our true loyalties. I am thankful for memories but at the same time, I can not live in the past and all of my loss is now in the past. Those doors are closed.
Today, I am thankful for new beginnings, and how with God's help, I can look forward to a future that only He can plan for me, as He already knows the desires of my heart.