I had been doing so well, then work chaos intervened. I tried, I really did, over and over, and then it just all fell apart. Thank goodness it wasn't for a terribly long time, and I don't think I totally screwed up, there were a few meals, a few times that I thought about what I was eating, what I was going to order, and I did ok.

So I then beat myself up, over and over, every day, every meal. I didn't exercise, but I yelled at myself, and ate a cookie, then I made excuses. I walked now and again, and made excuses. I went to the gym occasionally and made excuses.

I went to the Doctor Tuesday of this week. I yelled, I carried on, I had a little baby fit, I blamed everyone but myself, and I made excuses. My doctor, (a sweet little man) took his glasses off, looked me dead in the eye and said, it's thanksgiving, you should be thankful you are here with me. I am not going to yell at you, I am not going to tell you you made a lot of errors in judgment,. I am going to say you have 3 months to clean up your act or you won't be around for many more Thanksgiving. Do yourself a favor, be thankful you came in here today, be thankful for life. Make it the best life that you can. Happy Thanksgiving.

I have been thinking about that conversation since. I have been thinking about the tests results.

I do believe I am thankful for that doctor visit. I won't make promises that I may not keep, I will say I will try. I will not look at the huge big, gigantic picture of sooooooo many pounds to lose. I will make an effort to do exercise of some form every day for at least 10 minutes. I will make an effort to get a handle on portion control. I will make an effort to stay positive.