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Unnecessary Added Stress

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Considering everything that has happened over the past week I would say that hubby and I are managing to get through as good as anybody can be expected to. There are some tough times but we are still on our feet and still moving forward.

Now if only my mother-in-law could see this as a good thing and not a bad one.

Because we are not expressing our grief the way she believes she would if it were her in our shoes we are not doing it properly. She is overbearing and smothering to such a point that I am about to snap! I love the woman, and I know she means well, but we do need our space from her and I don't really know how to express that to her at this moment.

Not only does she call a few times a day and stop in at least one, sometimes twice, she is wanting to take our son somewhere daily. He has fun when he is with her and since he is so young (almost three) he doesn't understand what is going on so he is benefiting from all her attention, but I really just want him home sometimes, with us. It's so not-normal for him to be away from us so often and it's actually making it harder for me to deal with other things because I am missing that part of my normal life.

Today, for instance, I had wanted today to just be a nice, normal day. The viewing for our daughter is tonight and I wanted to just feel good about the day as much as possible. As I am writing this my mother-in-law has my son and I am feeling like there is a piece missing.

Now sometimes her presence is good. She encouraged me to get out for a 40 minute walk yesterday and that felt really good. I enjoyed walking along the dykes (I live very close to the Acadian deportation site of Grande Pré), breathing fresh air and having some company as I walked. So I can't say that the woman is a complete burden at this time, but she can get overwhelming very fast. Hubby is finding her a bit much to deal with as well, we just aren't sure how to actually get through to the woman and have her actually hear us. A friend has already tried talking with her and letting her know that how we are dealing with things is completely normal and that we do need space but apparently the words weren't actually heard.

She is just adding stress where stress doesn't need to be at the moment.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILLITA55 11/22/2012 12:25PM

    Bummer! Maybe you should set up a schedule when she can come over. Maybe 3- days a week. You have to tell her that you are building YOUR new family. Don't be rude just explain to her that you have things to do for your family. I hope she isn't alone. That makes it difficult. Let her babysit when you and your hubby want a night out alone. Have a great Turkey day!

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