No Progress Is Still Kinda Like Progress
Thursday, November 22, 2012
My weight hasn't changed much since August. I've actually gained a pound or two. I'm still not weighing myself, but I did catch a glimpse of my weight at the doctor's office last week -- I was 150 while fully clothed and after eating a couple of meals. I haven't been exercising as much, and my eating hasn't been so great either, so I'm not expecting big results until I really buckle down and change my diet.
However, I am excited about one thing -- my size is stable for the first time ever. I haven't bought "nice" clothes in years and I always have multiple wardrobes in varying sizes in order to accommodate my yo-yo dieting. This is embarrassing to say, but until this past year, I had never worn the same size clothing for more than three months straight. I've almost never worn out a piece of clothing. I always get rid of my clothes after not being able to get into them for a while. From a very young age my weight fluctuated a lot -- I was ALWAYS either gaining or losing. It's actually kind of nice to be stable, and I'm close enough to my goal that if I buy certain styles of clothing I know they will still fit me even if I lose 10-15 lbs.
I am slowly getting over my anxiety over shopping at stores that don't have a plus-size line. Even though I am well aware of my size, I imagine that if I buy clothes from (or even enter) a "regular" store, that somehow I'll magically gain 50 pounds in five minutes and nothing will fit. I'm probably five pounds too heavy to get into a size 8, so this anxiety is getting a bit ridiculous. I bought some size M tops from Victoria's Secret and they fit nicely! I can't weight to get more clothes without feeling compelled to shop at thrift stores or Ross because I'm worried I won't be able to wear my clothes for more than three months.
I'm still 15 lbs above a healthy BMI, and my body fat, while lower than one would expect for someone my height and weight, is still higher than I would like. I may not be able to get all the way down to 130, but I should be at a healthy body fat percentage in the mid-130s.
I'm getting there slowly, but I'm okay where I am.