I Think I'm Losing It
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Yesterday I volunteered for my son's field trip to the Wonderlab over in Bloomington.
I got up a few minutes early to get my son dressed and ready for the bus. I scrambled his eggs. I started heating the water for my oatmeal. I went to brush out my hair. I washed my face. I came back to the kitchen, set the eggs on the table, and added the water to my oatmeal. I made lunch for the trip. I made sure I had the camera charged, the phone charged, the debt card packed, and the directions to the museum in my purse. I made sure I packed healthy snacks so I wouldn't fail. I kissed my son goodbye, watched him get on the bus, and went to change my clothes.
I drove to school, got instructions on where to meet Mrs. Teacher, then drove over to Bloomington. It was an hour drive. I wasn't halfway there when I was overcome by hunger, so I ate my 10:30am snack at 9:00am. The museum was cool. There were lots of interesting science exhibits. I was still hungry so I ate part of my sandwich at 10:30am. Lunch was at 12:00am. Still hungry. Driving back home at two, I was weak and could not resist the magnetic pull of those Golden Arches. I had failed even though I had prepared and planned.
I came back home feeling guilty for my indiscretions with Ronald. I felt bad that I couldn't control that giant Suburban and MAKE it stay on the highway and not pull into that drive thru.
I started dinner and cleaning the kitchen. And that's when I saw it. My beautiful mug, sitting on the counter, with my grandpa's favorite spoon in it. And in that mug was my oatmeal. Untouched. With the honey still on top. I was so busy running around in the morning that I forgot to eat my oatmeal. What's worse, I didn't even mentally miss the fact that I never ate the meal they call breakfast. All I felt was hunger.
My mother told me this would happen. She said it when I laughed at her as a teenager. She said if I laughed, I would get old and lose my mind, just like she did. I didn't believe her. I told myself I would be smarter than that. I said I would keep my thoughts together no matter how old I was. I was wrong! Chalk one up for Mommy!!!
One positive thing I got from this was the importance of my breakfast. It sets the tone for the whole day. I have better control of my food intake when I start with a good foundation. I just need to keep the mug in my sight, until I actually see the oatmeal is gone.
I wish my daughter would quit laughing at me. I wouldn't want to wish this on her.