Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I subscribe to Good Clean Funnies at GCFnet. and got this today. It was just too cute not to share.
THANKSGIVING OUTLOOK by Elliot Abrams, excerpted from thebook, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies,Facts, and Fun in Forecasting," by Norm MacDonald Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven toan afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot andhumid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severesquall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of aknife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulationof one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will driftacross one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spotson the other. Please pass the gravy. A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued forthe entire area, with increased stuffiness around thebeltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish andtaper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 F in therefrigerator. Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eatsandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can beexpected both days with a 50 percent chance of scatteredsoup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soupdevelops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low asthe only wish left will be the bone.