It is 12:39 p.m. and I'm still in my workout gear. The workout ended two hours ago. I need to get moving, but I'm just so lazy and calm at the moment, I feel like just sitting around. Even Punim feels that way. He's sacked out on his bed snoring.
So a note about the 6 lb weight loss. It sort of isn't "real." Pardon my twisted thinking here, but I gained 6 pounds the week before because of the emotional eating of crap and not working out. Since Saturday(ish) I am back to taking care of myself. I stepped on the scale today to see if I'd made any progress, and praise be, I've gotten rid of those 6 lbs. Some of this just may have been water. But I believe I was indeed eating an extra 3500 calories a day.
Here's the twisted thinking part: I feel that it is easier to drop pounds that I've gained very recently. In my mind, they are just sort of in a different compartment of my body, ready to jettison after a few days of being back on track.
Now I'm back to 181.5, which puts me back to a mere 2.5 lbs away from no longer being obese. I WANT THOSE 2.5 POUNDS GONE.
I've gotten some spark mails and some comments from some very sweet and supportive sparkers reminding me to love myself and not to be concerned about BMI. I appreciate your support more than I can say! I am trying to love myself, but that is just not easy. Your suggestions and advice are so very helpful and I appreciate them a lot.
But the BMI thing? That is really important to me. I am in this for my health more than anything. And I don't believe that being obese is healthy. Will I ever reach size 4? That's not important. In fact, the answer to that is probably "no" because the top half will never, ever be that small. I've accepted this. I don't like it, but I've come to terms with it.
Right now, I need to focus on emotional eating. It not only gets me into trouble, but it keeps me from actually dealing with the things that upset me to that degree. This is not healthy.
NB: This doesn't mean that I can slack off, eat crap, and not work out. By no means. But my focus is less on the regular eating and working out. I know what to do there now. It is the other eating and the other reason I stay inactive when I'm emotional (good and bad, by the way.)
And now it is 12:56. I need to get showered and dressed so I can take Punim out on a proper walk. Then I have to go out and buy the first parsnip I've ever bought. I'll need this for my part of Thanksgiving dinner. More about that later.