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    WINACHST   13,745
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Don't Lay It On Me... It is Not My Fault

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I had a really bad eating day yesterday. I was traveling and being in the car seems to be a trigger for junk food. Yes, junk food called my name and I answered. I know better and yet I continue to eat the foods that I know are not good for me. But, come on, we stopped at the Chocolate shop, you know the place where the "good stuff" is.

Fortunately, they did not have my favorites so I settled for something else, which means I did not buy as much as I normally would have. I would not have stopped if I was traveling solo, but my husband wanted to stop. OK, so I could place the blame on my husband; if it weren't for him I would not have stopped and purchased the goodies and then ate them on the way home.

But the reality is, I knew better and I did it anyway. I am responsible for my own actions and my choices that I make. Every time I eat something that I know I shouldn't it is because I had a thought, then I made a decision and then I decided to take an action. I know this, I understand this and I have to live with the decision I made and now it is time to move forward. Today is a new day, a new beginning, new choices.

I wish my husband could accept this also. My husband needs to lose weight, a lot of weight; but he seems to think that I am responsible for his diet. He has some physical issues and has a lot of pain so it is difficult for him to move. But since we have different starting times, I usually let him make his own breakfast.

I have discussed both McDougall's Program and Furhman's Eat to Live with him and he keeps telling me he wants to do that style of eating. But his actions do not follow his words. The other morning he was frying bacon and eggs for his breakfast and telling me at the same time how he wants to go on a diet like the one we did a few years ago (Jonny Bowden Bootcamp [similar to the first 2 weeks of Atkins]) but substitute beans for the animal products.

Really? He wants to do this while frying bacon and eggs? I asked him why he isn't he doing it? He told me it was because I do not make all of his meals so he will eat whatever. I told him not to lay it on me and he responded with the same words, Well, don't lay it on me."

What? Is he trying to guilt me into dieting for him? This is not the first time he has told me that he does not eat well because I do not prepare all of his meals for him. If he was 5 years old I could accept that responsibility, but he is not and so I do not.

This reminds me of an incident that happened many years ago: We were living an a single wide mobile home and the master bedroom was just past a small hallway where the washer and dryer were kept. I had just cleaned the floor with Mop 'n Glo so the floor was sticky wet. He wanted to come to the bedroom and was going to jump, as in "take a flying leap" . emoticon

~~OMG!!!~~~~ I am laughing so hard right now. I have not thought of this for years and it is just as funny now as it was then.

Back to the story... I told him that the distance was too far and he'd never make it. He was confident that he could ... So, he jumped, hit the wet floor, his feet went out from underneath him and he slid into the bedroom, taking the door frame with him. He is laying on the floor, eyes wide open and he looked at me and said, "I can't believe you let me do that."

The part of this story that is not funny is that he blamed me for his decision to jump. What makes a person not accept responsibility for their actions?
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FRAN0426 11/20/2012 5:09PM

    Boy riding in the car sure can be be great temtation for snacking. We do a 10 hour drive to visit our daughter and family, I know for me it's the amount of time spent getting there. I usually bring knitting and books along, but the munchies still come a calling. Hopefully, they will be moving closer after the new year.

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LIV2RIDE 11/20/2012 10:38AM

    As I'm reading your blog it sounds like you both blame each other for the other not being able to stick to a diet. LOL My husband made the same statements and at first I caved and made his breakfasts. I would make a HUGE batch of steel cut oats in the crockpot Sunday night into Monday morning. I would portion it out into little bowls and put it in the fridge for him to eat every morning. After 2 weeks of him not eating the oats and me having to toss them I quit doing it. I told him he knew how to make it and if he wanted them he could make them himself. He hasn't made them since. He also continues to buy and eat things he knows he shouldn't but makes the comments about how he needs to make changes etc or "I'm doing the best I can.". I've stopped saying anything to him about his dietary choices. I'm not perfect and I can't expect him to be either. While I'm concerned about his health and want him around for many many years, I can't worry myself if he isn't willing to make the right choices. I went through many months of commenting on his choices which only made him angry and so he dug his heels in deeper. I don't know the solution but know that I continue to make the best choices I can for me and let him do his own thing. Best of luck!



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MUNCHNIT 11/20/2012 10:15AM

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