Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I have been in a real rut. A 6 month rut. I have been losing and gain 6 lbs over and over and over again. Sometimes I hold onto it all for weeks. Sometime progress is achieved and then WHAM back to where I started. This has been a disappointing whirlwind of loss and gain.
The biggest problem is me. While I manage a somewhat regular work-out routine, I sometimes take weeks off. But, it is the workout routine that keeps me going. My food choices are poor, so poor I feel like I don't even know who I am. I use to crave salads, and veggie stir fries, soups etc. And now its mac and cheese, pizza and ice cream. What? I think part of it is because I am so down that all the hard work I put into getting into shape when I first started working out after pregnancy, wasn't paying off. I lost a lot of initial weight, but I remained 28 pounds heavier than my per-pregnancy weight.
I struggle finding time to exercise now that I am mom. Pre-Mom me, would ride bike 95% of the time and would ride it every where, tracking 15 miles a day in just commuting. Now, I am so busy trying to find time to get my 20 hours of work done, that I don't allow myself the couple extra minutes it takes to commute by bike. I think it is a mental, feel sorry for me, sort of excuse. The fit me, choses the active route even if I may lose 15 minutes of work time. My work time will be more productive with more exercise and healthy eating habits.
I don't want to complain, I just want to be honest with myself and hold myself accountable.
I just don't want to give up all together, I want to recapture my SPARK and try harder everyday. Because when I am fit I feel great, I look great. I fit into my clothes. I crave water and healthier foods. I have more energy, which would be so valuable for Hollis. When I am fit, I am more focused, driven and emotionally grounded. I sleep better. I wake better. I live a fuller life.