Monday, November 19, 2012
I am so sick of not being a family. I don't even know what a functional relationship is and all they do is say I am never good enough. They tell me to give my best , when they don't, they expect me to be perfect when nobody is. All they do is see the flaws, every imperfection in their eyes, disappointment. I am trying SO hard to get over bulimia and self harm, things they have no idea about. Because I hid it from them, because I knew how judgemental they would be, how they always have been, its part of the reason I am like this. I have been trying hard, so eat right and exercise so I can gain confidence back in myself, be my own hero. But tonight I asked my dad how he proposed to my mom and he said ' why would you ask me that, it doesn't matter'. I just have a hard time believing how little someone could care. How unsupportive and frustrating they can be. I am trying to channel my frustration into healthy ways but any advice would be great thanks , this site has been helping me a lot, so thank you to every one who has supported me online, it means the world.