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Monday, November 19, 2012
I am so sick of not being a family. I don't even know what a functional relationship is and all they do is say I am never good enough. They tell me to give my best , when they don't, they expect me to be perfect when nobody is. All they do is see the flaws, every imperfection in their eyes, disappointment. I am trying SO hard to get over bulimia and self harm, things they have no idea about. Because I hid it from them, because I knew how judgemental they would be, how they always have been, its part of the reason I am like this. I have been trying hard, so eat right and exercise so I can gain confidence back in myself, be my own hero. But tonight I asked my dad how he proposed to my mom and he said ' why would you ask me that, it doesn't matter'. I just have a hard time believing how little someone could care. How unsupportive and frustrating they can be. I am trying to channel my frustration into healthy ways but any advice would be great thanks , this site has been helping me a lot, so thank you to every one who has supported me online, it means the world.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I had to divorce my sister from my life so I could move on. Hard, yes, but it freed me.
Wishing you self joy, peace and health.
1437 days ago
It sounds like your parents are the ones with a problem. They're unhappy, but that doesn't mean you have to be. Remember that you are not your parents and you do not have to put up with their issues. Do what you feel is best for you. If you need advice, check in with Sparkpeople or other people you trust. Make a great circle of friends and use them for support. Friends are the family you choose. Spend time doing things you enjoy.
Do not worry about perfection. It doesn't exist. I wasted years of my life searching for perfection. Years. Wasted. It's not worth it. If the parents demand it, ignore them.
Recovery from your ED and self-harm is possible. It may take a while, and it's an uphill battle every day. I was ana for years, and again, years were wasted. Fight every day to recover. Find someone you can talk to. Guidance counselor, support group, someone. If you're unsure of where to find such things, the health department should be able to point you in the right direction. Sometimes, just connecting with others who have "been there, done that" will show you the steps you need to recover. While I used therapy to recover, it was my friends who nudged me over my last hurdle to recovery.
Take care of yourself. We're here for you.
1438 days ago
No matter what your parents say to you, believe in
yourself. Only you and the dear Lord knows who
you really are. You don't have to prove yourself
to anyone. It is sad that your parents seem so
unhappy, but don't let that get you down. Stay
with SP, we will continue to encourage you and
some day you will be on your own and live the
life you where you will have peace and happiness.
Best Wishes and Happy Thanksgiving.
1438 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
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