Reality check for a realist
Monday, November 19, 2012
So I've been struggling since the time change. It really is jacking with my mojo...that and the upcoming holiday season. Well, who am I kidding, it started with Halloween...and won't end until February but lets hope I can turn it around well before then!
Yes, the time change effected my running because I was running in the evenings after 6 pm and now since the neighborhood where I run is so dark early, I won't run for safety sake. I tell myself to get home, get changed and get out the door early but that has yet to happen. A treadmill is out of the question and I don't belong to a gym...yet. It's dark in the morning when I leave for work so that is not an option either.
I feel like a whiney brat "I can't run anymore, wah, wah, wah". Not my style. But I am in a rut since this has carried over into my not exercising at all anymore...rarely is more like it. And I miss it. But why can't I just get up and do it?
I've been stuffing my face instead that's why! I still eat the healthy foods; fruits, vegetables and some protein but I also eat a fair amount of junk too. I eat it because it comforts me...why do I need comfort? I'm not sad...I am a little lonely though. And I'm sure I've mentioned this a time or two before. I miss having my friends close by to run out and grab a movie, go shopping or just hang out. Moving to a new town 14 months ago, far away from anyone familiar, is hard on me...it's hard to make new friends. Co-workers are not anyone I want to hang out with and I do go to meetups on occasion but I usually leave feeling empty; it's hard to make a connection in a group of strangers. I am not the most congenial person...I'm not rude just not the most friendly...I guess I'm guarded around people I don't know well. Ugh. Sorry this isn't a 'feel good' blog.
Anyway, I had a plan to re-do the Livefit program after Thanksgiving to give me something to focus on BUT since they highly suggest no cardio for the first month in order to build that muscle, I will postpone it until December 2. I am doing a 10k (my first one!) on the 1st and can't afford to not run, I need to keep my endurance up. So instead, I'll put a make-shift calendar on paper, laying out which days I'll run and which days I'll do a DVD instead...and get out the door early enough I don't get caught in the dark.
I just joined the Emotional Eaters group on here too, so maybe that will help me focus.
My sister and nephew will be here tomorrow afternoon for Thansgiving week...and I'm sure that will help fill a void for a while.
I know I'll get out of this funk, I know I'll get back on the kick-butt exercising kick, but for now...I'm not happy with myself.
Thanks for reading and tolerating the 'poor me'...next one will be better!