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Good enoug to be on the side but not to date

Monday, November 19, 2012

So this guy I've been visiting with, and has slept over a few times, someone I have known for years.... Asked for advice on how to ask this girl out that he really likes and thinks she may be the one, ok. That's cool lets talk about it, we have nothing serious going on. Then he asks me to be his mistress on the side. Because he needs a woman Iike that when he's in a relationship to help him keep his head on straight. Hello, I am divorced because my husband had girls on the side. He knows that....why would I do that to another girl? I have been on the other side of this equation and it sucks. And he is the third guy this year to ask me to be a girl on the side..... I'm good enough to be a mistress but not good enough to love or what? Men are pigs.

Btw I have no real attachment to this dude so that helps.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    he sucks! You train people how to treat you - train that jerk right out your door! Someitmes no one is way better than someone. Put your effoerts into making yourself the best you you can be - that's what counts in the long run - you are beautiful inside and out, some man with a brain will recognise that!
    1919 days ago
    what crap! what an insecure guy, too. (aren't they all?)

    i think this means that you're lots of fun emoticon

    ...but don't let him have a piece of that fun if he ain't truly appreciating it, then! girl power! (and good for you for not being willing to hurt someone else like you were hurt. you are a good person!)
    1921 days ago
    Prince Charming he ain't. You deserve so much more than being someone's side-dish. Take some time off from the dating scene and decide what you want and need in a relationship. Make a list; seriously, it helps. Then when the next fast-talking guy comes along, you'll have your handy-dandy checklist to compare him against.

    You want someone who thinks you're awesome, because you are. The guy you're looking for is looking for you, even if he doesn't know it yet. emoticon
    1921 days ago
  • RAN2012
    *disclaimer* I'm really going to try to be on my best behavior a keep my language at PG... but I curse like a sailor most days so if something slips, please don't take offense. I assume we're all adults.

    Anyway - I'm going to assume you are using the term 'friend' loosely, because friends that I have that are males that I truly consider friends know better than to ask something something so outrageous of me. And you did mention that you have no real attachment to him.... I'd just classify him as a 'friend with benefits' and those are really a dime a dozen. "Good enough to be on the side but not to date"??? Really, you shouldn't even be offended by this. He really doesn't sound like top notch dating material so count yourself lucky you aren't "the one" for him. And take a minute to feel sorry for the poor girl he is planning to woo.

    I'd say cut your losses with this 'friend' ...
    1921 days ago
    Oink Oink, I am only a pig if you let me. After all, I am polite.


    1921 days ago
  • GAMMY98
    Hum I guess we will never figure out the human race. I agree with every one else though you need to say good bye to this guy. Good luck
    1922 days ago
    I don't think it has anything to do with "good enough" or "not good enough" - that comes from inside ourselves.

    This sounds like a case in which HIS rules and YOUR rules for the "friends with benefits" game are not the same. Your post shows that you are clear about YOUR rules, and already know what you need to do in order to stay within your own integrity.

    And yeah, men can be pigs... but so can women.

    Stay true to yourself, always.
    1922 days ago
  • EIC41299
    I am really sorry to hear that. Graceful Journey is right, you need to move on, no matter how touch that it is. I had to say goodbye to a long time male friend a few years ago due to how he has treated me and as hard as it still is I am glad that I severed the ties. I realized I am worth more and you are worth more too! As you reach your smaller and big goals your level of confidence will become out of control and you will meet someone worthy of your presence. Best of luck through this difficult situation. Here for you friend!!

    1922 days ago
    drop him asap!
    then take time for yourself!
    take some time and meditate on who you are and what kind of energy that you are putting out there that attracts what you don't want.
    I highly recommend the movie called The Secret.
    Good luck to you!
    emoticon emoticon
    1922 days ago
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