Monday, November 19, 2012
I am confronted almost daily with women who feel the need to fix things. I think it is hardwired into us to want to make things right and keep everyone happy. We become master manipulators and feel guilty if others don't have perfect lives, especially our kids. My daughter once got rather mad at me trying to get me to understand that I couldn't fix her and she resented me trying to. But I'm glad she did, because it made me take a long hard look at who I was and my perspective on life. Every person on earth makes the decisions they do that affect their lives and determine the outcome. They alone are responsible for the outcome of their lives. We are not responsible for the decisions of others, they are and only they. We can offer advice, but it is up to them whether or not they take it. We begin to train our children from the day they are born. Recent research has even proven this starting as young as at three months of age. We know what is right and acceptable behavior. We become convinced of behaviors later on and can be channeled to think in other directions. We want things to be right for us, even though deep down we know they are not. Society is more than willing to fill in any gaps we have. We push food on others so that we don't feel so bad about our shortcomings. We want people to look like us. Family conflict occurs when others refuse to fit our mold of what we think is right. Funny thing is, many times they would willingly fit our mold, but run the other direction when they feel forced. Compassion is good. Many times what we think is compassion is not. Compassion longs for unity. Tyranny insists on it. Love never fails. Let everything we do be out of true love. Love people enough to be there for them when they fail and don't condemn or judge. Allow others the room to breathe and watch as the bird takes wing and thrills you with magnificent flight and freedom. Let us not contain others in a box of our own imagination and allow them to express their own. We will not be disappointed and neither will they.