Monday, November 19, 2012
Three more overnights and I will go back to working second shifts at a hospital at which I had previously worked. I'm looking forward to sleeping every night, spending quality time with my family, exercising during the day(light) with energy to do so, and finally taking care of myself so that I can be the best version of me for my family.
David and I enjoyed a wonderful time at my sister's wedding on Saturday. I was very happy that David decided to come and he looked very handsome. He's been taking better care of himself (no soda, but has been drinking a lot of water; better eating habits; drinking protein shakes; walking on a regular basis; buying clothes that fit him better (he was "swimming" in his other clothes)) and I've decided that I really need to do the same.
I miss running. I neglect myself to the point that I don't get new running shoes because I use my money for taking care of my family (i.e. school expenses for the boys, new clothes for them, Christmas presents, day trips, food, car/insurance, etc.). That may be a noble thing but I use all of my extra money to get us out of debt and ensure that the boys are well cared for when I should be taking care of myself as well and simply spending quality time with them. I think I've tried to compensate because I feel like I am always so tired to spend quality time with the boys (i.e. I'm too exhausted to play, build train tracks, put on a movie, etc.).
The boys and I were the front car in a three car motor vehicle accident on Wednesday. The boys are fine and my back is a bit sore. The third car's driver hit the lady's car behind ours and then pushed her into us, not once, but twice (he hit the gas pedal twice). My car is fine as well, although the insurance adjuster has to evaluate it. It made me put a lot into perspective too. David came to pick me up from the hospital (I had my back examined) and we went to Target for my medications.
I'm still not sure what's going on with our marriage, but I'm leaving it in God's hands. When I was listening to the pastor's words at my sister's wedding on Saturday, I realized that I have not allowed David to be the leader of our household and to make mistakes. I think I do this because it's difficult for me to not have control and also because sometimes I feel like David is not leading our household.
I still need to see that he is trustworthy, but I do love him and I feel like the past few days have been much brighter and more positive than the past four months.