There are a couple of different camps in weight loss. I have historically been a lower carb person, I had some issues that raised my carb intake, I know that I must get it back down, I'm seeing problems with my body that are associated with insulin resistance. I am also older, many women do better with a lower carb lifestyle. However, I am also one of those people that when on an ultra low carb diet, put on weight. Yep. Thats me. I put on 2 pounds on 'Atkins Induction'. My metabolism ground to a halt, my body temperature took a dive, and I discovered I have kidneys that don't like protein. I can't do 'Protein power.' I can't do 'Atkins'. However, that doesn't mean I should go hog wild. I know that when I have too many sugars (especially simple ones) that I get infections (just got off one of those) and skin problems and I put on weight (ugh.) So, I think this means I need a clean, lower carb, but not no carb, low sugar diet.

What I'm struggling with is: should I eat 'intuitively' or should I eat to a calorie count? The 'Inside Out Weight Loss' philosophy is 'intuitive'. What that means is I eat only when I'm hungry. This takes a lot of pressure off a person. Once you get past not eating when you aren't hungry, its very simple. The trick is learning to not eat more than you burn, its laid out explicitly, how to get there through self examination, meditation, and journaling by Renee Stephens. The other camp is the 'count every calorie' and eat to a specific algorithm of calories in versus calories out. For me, thats not too hard to do. The only problem is: my body adapts in approximately 3 days. I have learned over the years that if I don't do some sort of calorie or carb cycling, my body thinks that calorie counting is a joke, and I stall completely.

But here is the rub: if I don't count, how do I know that I'm cycling? And won't my genius of a body figure out that I'm eating exactly how much I should to maintain and not eat small enough to lose? Just how does intuitive eating work with a body like mine? I was never a huge binge eater, I had other issues that I had to learn like how to eat clean, how to eat enough healthy fats, how to eat enough fiber, how to avoid goitergens.

I'm at a cross roads with this. I have learned how to use meditation to alter my behavior. What I don't know is what to alter my behavior to. Seriously. What next?

Btw, I am enjoying my lemon/pepper/tiny bit of honey drinks. They turn off my appetite its really a dream. The sugar content is very low and its helping me recover from the antibiotics I took for my skin infection last month. Normally, I would be much sicker for much longer from the antibiotic. Also, I had a cold on Saturday night, but it was gone by this afternoon. I think it was the lemon juice that licked it. I'm still sore from Thursday's workout, I can still barely walk. But, I am getting better.

I am just so ready to lose weight. I have set aside whatever qualms I had about being attractive because back when I was a size 12, I never had any problems. It just didn't manifest the way I was afraid it would. And, so I'm more than happy to go back. I am at peace with finding hunger, it doesn't frighten me at all. I barely find true physical hunger without a morning workout. I sometimes worry that I won't be hungry enough and I will miss vital nutrients like fiber, vegetables, vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats (coconut oil for thyroid function, olive oil for the heart). I rarely have cravings. Today I wanted a bite of a mint chocolate candy, I had one, and I didn't feel the need to keep eating. In that way, I'm very proud of myself for not being 'weird' around food. The only weird thing is that I'm afraid of having a low sugar episode still. I don't want to hit the ground from passing out. But, thats a left over fear, I don't even have that problem anymore because of the gymnema sylvestre pretty much curing it.

The thing is: once upon a time I had a piece of salmon for breakfast. I just ate it because I didn't want it to go bad. Well. I wasn't hungry for nearly 3 days.

I am not kidding. I just didn't feel like eating, so I didn't. The thing I'm afraid of is: if I'm not hungry and I don't eat will I hurt my metabolism or my body by fasting that long?