Sooooo It's been a while since I have used SparkPeople and it has not been good. I ran my second half marathon on August 5th. After that, I stopped training and no motivation (because I had no more external motivation) my appetite was the same and I kept eating the many calories I was while I was training. The weight just hopped back on. :-( I am at about the same when I started training earlier in the year.

Also later in August, I was going through a life change. I didn't get the job I wanted and I had to make a decision to stay in Central Oregon or to move back to the Valley (and to my 6-year relationship with my boyfriend).

I fell in love with Central Oregon when I first moved. There were always outdoor activities, weekend events, lots of free music and I made some good friends out here. After being depressed in the Valley and weighing 200 pounds, I felt good over here with the healthy atmosphere and the many exercise opportunities. I liked who I was becoming over here.

So I decided to stay in Central Oregon. My boyfriend didn't like that and we broke up. It was very difficult then and is still difficult now (two months later). I was lucky enough to find 3 jobs (one main job and a couple of catering opportunities) and am enjoying Central Oregon for another year.

Last night, I found out that my ex boyfriend has started seeing another girl. I didn't take it very well. I was hurt, pissed, and sick to my stomach. I was crying all night. I couldn't believe that he moved on so quickly. It has been only two months! I figured a 6 year relationship would take a little more to move on from.

I talked to my mom and she said she would be able to assist me with some counseling, if I needed it. Then it dawned on me....

I don't need a counselor, I need a personal trainer. To get back into shape, to feel better on the inside and outside. To release endorphins so I am happier. To finally get that tattoo on my side. To start moving on. For closure.

I need to do this for me. To start a-new.

I will start to use SparkPeople more. Get back on track. Feel better.

I wish you all luck in your journeys, as I start mine again.

Sorry, I needed to write this down and to vent.