Sunday, November 18, 2012
I'm on edge of something. I can't explain it. I've felt this way a few times in my life and it has ALWAYS preceeded some tragedy in my life. I'm not talking something small. I felt like this for a week before my dad commited suicide and he lived across the country from me. I fretted all day and had no idea. Something is coming. It is going to be big and it is haunting me in a big way. I'm scared, I'm upset and I don't feel like there is a freaking thing I can do about it. I want to be around people but only certain people and none of them are available and I feel like I'm a top about to spin itself into a million pieces. I can't explain it I can't put it into words and I don't even feel like blogging about it is doing me a lick of good. I thought maybe it would but it is not. I'm hurting. I've had nightmares for weeks. Really it has been building for months. It is getting closer and closer. If I'm not here for a while that is why. I'm just trying to keep myself together right now and I'm failing miserably.