Not letting anyone down ......right ?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
So as many of you know I chose to give up Pepsi (which is the only thing I drink besides water) for a team challenge this past week. If I managed to avoid the pepsi all week I would get 30 points for my team. I tend to drink alot of my calories every day so this challenge was just the push I needed.
At first it was a struggle, everyday I was thinking about it and I had horrible cravings and headaches (from caffeine withdrawal). As the week went on it got easier. On Friday I had such a stressful day and had, had it, I cracked a Pepsi poured half of it into a glass of ice, my son who is 16, said "Mom are you really going to drink that, dump it out you have gone all week with out this pop you dont need it now, think off all those people on your team they are counting on you to do this" so he goes on and on and gives me this big guilt trip.
Well he won I dumped the pop out without even one sip and it felt good, I was so proud of myself. The longest I have ever went without pepsi before was maybe a few days. Finally I was done, no more craving I didnt care anymore if I had it or not.
Well the challenge ended yesterday, so today was fair game right if I wanted that pepsi I was not hurting anyone, I was not letting anyone down, no one cared if I drank it or not. So I cracked that can open and drank about half of it, then it hit me...
I was letting someone down, I was hurting someone, there was someone who still cared if I drank that pop or not .... MYSELF .... I had done so great when it mattered to others but when that was over what about me? Why is it ok to let myself down? This is about more than just the pepsi, its the whole journey, I have realized that if someone else counts on me to do it I can, when my friends want me to walk I get out and get exercise, when others watch me eat I'm more cautious at what I ate. So why when I'm the only one to answer to dont I give it my all? This needs to change right here, right now, I should do these things for me, not because others are "watching" or "counting on me"
I hope the feeling of disappointment that I felt in myself today will help me to push harder. I only drank about half that pepsi today before I dumped the rest out. I will not start drinking pepsi everyday again I will however allow myself one here and there.....after all everything can be ok in MODERATION.