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Do You Have Pets??

Sunday, November 18, 2012

I saw this on FB and HAD to post it here:

Letter to our Pets

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack - Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:


(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(3) are easier to train
(4) normally come when called
(5 ) never ask to drive the car
(6) don't want to wear your clothes
(7) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(8) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(9) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XHASTEDMOMOF2 11/21/2012 5:49PM

    I love it!!!! I burst out laughing at the line about if they get pregnant you can sell their children!!!! HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for a great post about what it's like having sweet little furballs!!!

emoticon emoticon

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GAYEMC 11/21/2012 2:38PM

    Too funny! I miss my kittys and will get another 1 or 2 in time. Sophie does the stair trick wvery morning with me.

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DIBANANA 11/19/2012 10:52PM

  Cute. I'm allergic but I used to have cats. Love them.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/19/2012 2:27PM

    I do have pets and I love this!!

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LIVINGFREE19 11/19/2012 12:27PM

    emoticon

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RFJSJ50 11/19/2012 10:06AM

    I love this! It's so true about my furry children! My whole family thanks you for understanding and speaking the truth!
emoticon Jake, emoticon Nellie, emoticon Boots,
emoticon MamaCat, emoticon Peaches,
and emoticon Sheila




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SHARJOPAUL 11/19/2012 8:34AM

    LOL
Love it


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IMEMINE1 11/19/2012 5:18AM

    So Good. Loved It! emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/19/2012 4:45AM

    love this and will tell my cat and dog about this lol

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JUSTLLAMA 11/19/2012 3:35AM

    LOL love it!

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NEW-CAZ 11/19/2012 3:03AM

    emoticon

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CATHYGETSFIT 11/19/2012 1:13AM

    I've seen this before! Really cute! emoticon

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WINNINGBATTLE 11/18/2012 8:03PM

    emoticon

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