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:( ~ My Trip is Over ~ :/

Sunday, November 18, 2012

I have mixed emotions about my trip being over... I miss the excitement of being gone and doing new things for the first time, YET... I guess it would have gotten old had I stayed gone longer? Maybe not, lol! I know it was difficult to come home and what I came home to made me want to turn back around and leave! The house was simply filthy! It wasn't perfect when I left, but it wasn't nasty, ya know?

Anyway... the rest of my time with Susie was just perfect and the first wave of sadness came when I had to leave her house Tues. morning. We had such fun, we laughed and simply enjoyed our time together! We even got up early and worked out the morning I left. I made it 10 minutes on the elliptical and then 20 on the treadmill... was dripping sweat, felt good!

When I left Susie's, I went to Ann Arbor, MI and met Stacy (STACYPOP on here) and she is simply lovely! We shared deep conversation and fun time together as well. In Ann Arbor, I stayed at a hotel BY MYSELF and it was SUCH fun! I loved it!

Then, on my way back home, I stopped by Jann's again! That was Thursday and we went to the gym. her trainer had told her to bring me along and he would work me out as well and boy did he work me out! I almost pooped my pants when he picked up weights and handed them to ME!!! I remember the workout, but not what the moves were called. Suffice it to say, I was dripping sweat by the time I finished, and my legs and arms felt like jello and I thought I was gonna throw up! ( A big burp later helped that)!

I surprised Jann, I think and mostly, I surprised myself! I never thought I could do what he threw at me! Sooo, I need to get a plan in place to work out like that and incorporate more walking again too! I will probably borrow some weights from my SIL, Bonnie, OR, I will just do that workout at HER house or something...

I will try to blog later with more details of each place I visited, along with pictures.... I will say though, while I had a great deal of fun... alot of stuff seemed to be presenting itself to me with each place I went. There was a theme of "being yourself and taking care of me and midlife crises was mentioned more than once!" I do not know that I am going through a midlife crises or anything, but, I just turned 39 before going on this trip and well, i don't know. I thought the lightbulb moments were going to come on the trip, but it feels like I was just out "gathering", "tasting", etc... and now that I'm home, the REAL processing is going to take place...

I DO know that I don't feel satisfied with things to stay the way they are, not just my weight, but all kinds of things in my life! I got home on Friday and spent several hours cleaning on Saturday and still did not feel satisfied. I'm hoping that's a signal that things are going to change in that department and not just from me, but my expectations from the rest of the family seem to be changing as well.

I really did not expect this trip to be life-changing, just a once in a lifetime trip! But, it seems God has other plans! It's all good though! I felt so dead before and now I feel more alive! Unsettled, unsatisfied ~ I think is a good thing to a degree, as it points to change and I believe it will all be good change!

Catch you all later!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I loved our time together, and am SO glad you have Jann..what an AWESOME friend she is to you!

    I think you hit it all right on the head, Shan. You are very WISE, and intuitive..and in TUNE with what's REAL. I understand EXACTLY where you're at. SO important to acknowledge your feelings of restlessness and yet LIVE where you ARE. Translating the restlessness into healthy ACTION keeps requiring our "baby steps". You are on the precipice of exciting things, Shan...and the good news is that you get to CHOOSE what they are.

    Love you so MUCH ! I'm SO glad we got to finally connect in PERSON, although it felt just like we've been friends for YEARS, and we HAVE. :) I was struck by the depth of understanding and the wisdom that you have, my friend. You are AMAZING!!!
    1843 days ago
  • -LORI-B
    Sounds like you had a great adventure.. too bad the boys didnt make it easier for you when you got home, but glad you got away.
    1845 days ago
    It's wonderful how inspiring life can be sometimes, and when we least expect it. I'm glad you had a wonderful time.
    1851 days ago

    1851 days ago
    I am so proud of you Shannon! You stepped outside your comfort zone and found that you had a wealth of strength and determination to try something different! Good for you!
    1851 days ago
    Oh, this is SO lovely to read! Doing something different really can be a great thing, as it can help us see the things in our "regular life" that could be different, better, healthier.

    I've gone through SEVERAL midlife crises, & am going through another now, really, though maybe since I've 58 it would be called a "late life" crisis. emoticon

    Proud of you for trying out work with the trainer! Yes, SP has individual videos of the exercises that Jann mentioned, so you can easily do them at home with good form. Do keep up with the strength training--it's so important! And of course the walking.

    I love it that you had a great trip & now you're ready to take care of you.

    1851 days ago
    Shannon, you remind me so much of ME and what I had gone through at about that age, a couple of years younger maybe, but I made a trip by myself, it was for me EMS training seminar (conference) to Ocean Shores and all company paid, stayed in hotel. I NEVER thought it would be so life changing for me. I had done a Steven Covey class shortly before that too. Well, I got home, and I was not satisfied with what was happening in my life, that I scheduled another trip for just ME to the same place and stayed at the same hotel, and spent the weekend by myself. I really came to the realization that if things didn't change for me at home with my family and for myself, then it was over. As much as I didn't want my relationship over with my husband, he was not willing to change a darn thing and I ended up, for me, having to change so much. It was one of the best decisions for myself because I did not want to go on with life of not living life. I had to do everything myself, and he destroyed the house, within minutes of my cleaning. We even had friends come help me clean, and wow, they were shocked at how quickly he undid the cleaning. I was already alone and didn't realize it. I discovered parts of me and God really showed me a way. God was so part of all of this process. I didn't even realize how much he was part of it until later. The new choices I made were the right decision and am so glad I did, not only for me, but for my daughters. Even today, my daughter called me, and she mentioned some things that told me that MY DECISIONS were right for not just ME, but for HER and HER SISTER, even if at the time it seemed like the hardest thing in the world to do. She said, "Mom, you never compromised safety." "You always, did exactly as you said. If it was no, then it was no. If it was yes, it was yes. If it was maybe, don't bug will find out soon enough. Mom, even if you wanted to say yes and you had to say no, you stuck to it. You never ever backed down, no matter how hard it was and we, sis and I, do the same thing with Leila and Samara...Mom, you did right. Don't change that with Shyanne...You keep to what you know is right and say because it was RIGHT. Mom, this will pass. YOU will be ok. I am sorry....don't mean to ramble on....I just can so much relate to this blog. I love you Shan!!!
    1851 days ago
    shannon, you can use cans form your pantry for some of these moves,

    trainer made her do three sets of 15 of following:

    punches, bicep curls, shoulder lifts, lunges, a modified one arm kettlebell swing ( 10# weight one hand at a time), and then standing rows!

    I was not surprised Shannon! AND BY THE WAY, Shan finished the last two exercises with a 10# weight!! My trainer wanted to keep her and help her make herself over. I was just worried she was going to be sick.

    When we got done we did our stretches, before the training we walked on the indoor track for 25 minutes!!

    For all of you out there.. if you go to a gym or have one nearby.. go get your free training session you too might be surprised what you can do.

    My trainer still laughs when I talk about when I first came there and could hardly walk! now I am doing kettlebell squat swings with a 30# bell!!

    SHannon, you can also use water bottles filled with water. Keep those milk jugs and fill with water or sand!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1851 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/18/2012 10:17:00 PM
    Hi Shan, love the blog and I love your new picture! I sure hope the "Men" in your life helped you clean up today! If not today I hope they learn to contribute soon! Your husband is definitely old enough to keep the house clean while you are gone!

    It is great to hear you surprised yourself, I hope you continue to do so!
    1852 days ago
    Hey Shan,

    Great blog. Thanks so much for letting us know what a great time you had on your trip.

    I always get in a tizzy when i pack for a big trip. Then my house is a mess when I get back and I'm never happy about that.

    One step at a time.

    You've inspired me to UP my exercise too.

    Linda emoticon

    1852 days ago
    I am so happy you enjoyed your trip and the time spent with your friends.

    So you left your son and husband in charge of your home and came back to a filthy home, I would not be happy and everyone would certainly know it and would help me with the cleaning. I think your son is old enough that he could have kept it at least the way you left it.

    And back to reality, good luck Shan.
    1852 days ago
    Great blog. Change can definitely be a good thing. It can also be a GOD thing. Be sure to keep focused and much will be revealed to you. Glad that you had a safe & fun trip. How exciting that you got to meet Spark friends AND that you managed to fit in exercise while traveling. I'm proud of you! GO YOU!
    1852 days ago
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